More Humor from the Press

Sorry KOM, it's another headline post...

Australian caught smuggling bird eggs in underpants jailed for two years
Was his last name "Berger"?

Art relieves constipation, lowers blood pressure
What, taken internally?

Man escapes Pakistani jail to land in Indian prison
Remind me never to go gambling with this guy.

NBA to employ fashion police in arenas
Queer eye for the Sports guy. Yeah.

Dead man gets parking ticket from Australian cops
Wow, in America dead people don't get to drive cars, but they can still vote.

Indian astrologer lives after predicting own death
He might not have died, but his credibility just did.

Rat eludes capture for 4 months
Smarter than your average bear, but not smarter than Osama.

Tanzania's witch-doctors cast spells for votes
Still more honest than American politics

Larry Bird Inspires Man's Longer Jail Term
So is this guy known as a "jail-Bird" then?

24-cent US stamp block sells for record near 3.0 million dollars
Hey, I have a book of 37-cent stamps! It's yours for 4 mil - a deal at twice the price.

China to buy the moon
Who the hell is selling the moon? Probably the people with the stamps.

Still no government but Germany's Merkel is made into doll
What, like "Bride of Chucky" style?

Anglican leader says praying like sunbathing
Does he do swimsuit calendars of his parishoners? Where do I sign up?

Germans spend thrice as much time on sex as on prayer
That would explain why they're not very tan. Maybe I need to move to Germany.

94-Year-Old Drives Miles With Dead Man On Car Roof
Things that make you go "Ummmmmmm"

Kutcher, Moore union inspires sitcom
Inspires nausea, actually.

Man allegedly robs bank with pay stub note
"So it doesn't have bullets. But it can give you a really nasty paper cut!"

Man stops carjacking with hot coffee
Yeah, holding a gun in one hand and coffee in the other can be awkward. Good thing he stopped.

Golfing cop pulls gun on slow players
Shooting slow golf players? We'd have dead people everywhere! (Oh, he wasn't holding coffee in the other hand, was he?)