Expectations

Everybody's got them. Kind of like noses that way. Except someday soon, I suspect, Michael Jackson will no longer have a nose. But he will have expectations. Expectations like being able to invite all of his little boy friends to a sleepover at his place without being thrown in jail. But I digress.

Here are some of my daily expectations:

• I expect to be woken up at least twice nightly, either by a weird dog that feels the need to frolic in the yard at 3:00am, or by a cute little 2-year old with either bad dreams or an upset tummy.
• I expect to pay anywhere between 50 cents to a dollar to fill up my soda refill cup.
• I expect that when something breaks down on my car, it will cost no less than $50.00 and usually not over $200.00
• I expect that if I go to church, I will probably feel uplifted, and maybe earn a few extra brownie points towards making it to Heaven (believe me, I need all the help I can get!).

What I did not expect, however, was to sit in front of a set of twins that could easily have satisfied any sound effect needs for the entire Warner Brothers cartoon department. It went a little like this:

Speaker: "...and thus we see that.."
Thing 1: "EEeeeerrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuupppppp!"
Thing 2: *giggling*

Speaker: "...the words of Isaiah, which read.."
Thing 2: *cough* *cough* *cough*....(makes gagging sound)
Thing 1: *giggles*

Speaker: "...foul demons of the underworld.."
Thing 1: "Brrrrrrrrrpptttptptptptptt" (How do you actually spell a fart?)
Thing 2: *explodes into laughter*
Mom-Thing: SSSSsssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

One minute transpires...

Speaker: "...is really what life is all about.."
Thing 2: "Moooommmmm, Thing 1 just wiped a booger on me!"
Thing 1: *farts again* "Did Not!"

I think I was supposed to be learning about something in the Old Testament, but ended up learning a lot about patience, longsuffering...and more longsuffering. On some Sundays, listening to the ongoing sound effect dialogue would be preferable to what some of the speakers have to say, but yesterday I just wasn't in the freakin' mood.

Other examples of the "unexpected":

• I didn't expect to get a pistachio shake today, but was given one anyway.
• I didn’t expect to get a new chair mat for my office, but lo and behold, three of them were sitting out in the hallway, and I’m assuming that one of them was meant for me (so I just took it).

Everyone has expectations; many or few, big or small. I find that if I expect the unexpected, I am rarely disappointed. Of course, then it's no longer unexpected, is it?