Nobody wants to start their weekend out like this.
This morning, while I was travelling down the interstate on my way to work, the flow of traffic went from about 80mph to a dead stop. I sat still on the road for probably a good 5 to 7 minutes, and then started crawling along at a snail's pace. I literally could have walked faster than I was driving.
I started to curse the idiots that were responsible for the traffic mess , but something told me that I ought to hold my tongue. Nearly twenty minutes and a half-mile later, I passed by the source of our traffic congestion.
The two cars involved were barely recognizable. Completely smashed to hell, with a sheet draped over one of the cars.
It was over, just like that. Somebody's husband or wife, son or daughter... or even worse... father or mother, was gone. There were two fatalities in that accident.
Can you hear that distant sound? It's the sound of the whole world crashing down around the family and friends of those people who died. The horrifying thought is: They don't even know yet.
These people could have children, whose biggest worry at the moment is a pop quiz in math in 15 minutes. That is all about to change.
The family and friends are shortly going to learn about the mechanics of dying... the process of insurance, of obituaries, of choosing caskets and burial plots, of funerals, of burials... a thousand different questions to be answered at a time when you least want to answer them... of sorting out their lives and memories, of raw emotion boiling to the surface at unexpected times, of getting on with their lives...
Nobody wants to start their weekend out like this. But some people are now, and my thoughts and prayers are with them.
*Update*
The accident was caused when a car from the northbound lanes swerved, crossed the median and hit another car head-on in the southbound lanes. Both drivers were killed instantly.
I was approximately 30 seconds behind the car that was hit. It makes me really reflect on the value of 30 seconds...
Look here and here for details...
Friday, March 10, 2006
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
Yet Another Stolen Survey...
Taken from Lee Ann, who in turn pilfered it from Aliecat...
Things you may or may not know about me, but I will tell you anyways...
1.Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No.
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
What? Are you kidding?? No way. I especially like to hold my arms up and look straight up when I'm upside down in the loop...
3. When was the last time you went sleigh riding?
It's been years. We strap a plastic "disk of death" onto an innertube, and sled down the icy slopes of a nearby golf course. If you go too far, you get eaten by wolves or fall into a reservoir.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Does anyone really need to ask me this?
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes. Spirits, good and bad. Have had my experiences with both.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Yes.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Neither. Can I have Jennifer Finnigan instead?
9. Can you honestly say you know anything about politics?
Enough to really, really piss me off.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
No. Never had the knack for card games. Besides, "World Poker Tour" is absolutely ruining the Travel Channel.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
72, actually. When I was a freshman in college, my best friend and I bought a package of Marlboro reds, and smoked the whole pack in about an hour while playing pool. I seriously couldn't sleep for three days. Never smoked again.
12. Do you kill bugs that are in the house?
Sometimes I'll be nice and catch them, then let them go in the neighbor's yard. Other times I'm just too lazy & squish 'em.
13. Have you ever cheated on a test?
Once. And I regret it to this day.
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around, do you go through red lights?
No. Because if I go through a red light, there is inevitably a cop hiding close by. That is just my luck, always has been.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes. Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a complete ossary.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Red Sox. I root for the underdog.
17. Have you ever ice skated?
Yes.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Sometimes. Especially the naughty ones.
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you were crying?
When Mister sang his version of the Olympics Theme Song on the Chunga & Mister radio show
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Eleanor Rigby, Lucy In The Sky, Norwegian Wood, Michelle, And I Love Her
21. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Oh Yeah.
22. Do you know who BaBa Booey is?
Not a Ghouchyn clue.
23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Better believe it.
24. What talent do you wish you had?
Excellent photography skills.
25. Do you like Sushi?
Meh. It's okay...
26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Oh yeah A few times.
27. What do you wear to bed?
A grin.
28. Have you ever been caught stealing?
Caught? No. Stolen? Yes. Another one of my life's regrets...
29. Does size matter?
Yes/No. It's only part of the whole experience...
30. Do you truly hate anyone?
No, not truly hate. There are those I pity and despise, but not hate.
31. Rock and Roll or Rap?
Rock and Roll all the way, baby!
32. Do you have a relative in prison?
No.
33. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror like your favorite singer?
Of course.
34. Do you know how to play chess?
Yeah.
35. What food do you find disgusting?
Korean food with tiny, whole fish or crickets in it.
36. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?"
*chuckles* Ah yeah, those were the days.
37. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Nope. Not that kind of person. They're usually not my friends anymore by the time I make fun of them.
38. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes.
39. Have you ever been punched in the face?
No.
40. When is the last time you threw up from drinking too much?
1988.
41. Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater?
Yeah, but I can't remember which movie.
42. Do you ever sit through a bad movie, just to see how bad it got?
Masochism is not one of my qualities...so, no.
43. Would you consider yourself obsessed with anything/anyone?
Um, not really. "Very Interested" is about as far as it gets...
44. Have you ever met someone famous?
Yes.
45. Have you ever been stood up?
Yes. Thank you Hendy you hearltess psluhght
46. When's the last time you screamed at the top of your lungs?
Can't really remember.
47. Did you ever do something that you didn't want to, but did anyway just to fit in?
Are you kidding? I was a poster child for stuff like that.
Things you may or may not know about me, but I will tell you anyways...
1.Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No.
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
What? Are you kidding?? No way. I especially like to hold my arms up and look straight up when I'm upside down in the loop...
3. When was the last time you went sleigh riding?
It's been years. We strap a plastic "disk of death" onto an innertube, and sled down the icy slopes of a nearby golf course. If you go too far, you get eaten by wolves or fall into a reservoir.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Does anyone really need to ask me this?
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes. Spirits, good and bad. Have had my experiences with both.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Yes.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Neither. Can I have Jennifer Finnigan instead?
9. Can you honestly say you know anything about politics?
Enough to really, really piss me off.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
No. Never had the knack for card games. Besides, "World Poker Tour" is absolutely ruining the Travel Channel.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
72, actually. When I was a freshman in college, my best friend and I bought a package of Marlboro reds, and smoked the whole pack in about an hour while playing pool. I seriously couldn't sleep for three days. Never smoked again.
12. Do you kill bugs that are in the house?
Sometimes I'll be nice and catch them, then let them go in the neighbor's yard. Other times I'm just too lazy & squish 'em.
13. Have you ever cheated on a test?
Once. And I regret it to this day.
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around, do you go through red lights?
No. Because if I go through a red light, there is inevitably a cop hiding close by. That is just my luck, always has been.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes. Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a complete ossary.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Red Sox. I root for the underdog.
17. Have you ever ice skated?
Yes.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Sometimes. Especially the naughty ones.
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you were crying?
When Mister sang his version of the Olympics Theme Song on the Chunga & Mister radio show
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Eleanor Rigby, Lucy In The Sky, Norwegian Wood, Michelle, And I Love Her
21. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Oh Yeah.
22. Do you know who BaBa Booey is?
Not a Ghouchyn clue.
23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Better believe it.
24. What talent do you wish you had?
Excellent photography skills.
25. Do you like Sushi?
Meh. It's okay...
26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Oh yeah A few times.
27. What do you wear to bed?
A grin.
28. Have you ever been caught stealing?
Caught? No. Stolen? Yes. Another one of my life's regrets...
29. Does size matter?
Yes/No. It's only part of the whole experience...
30. Do you truly hate anyone?
No, not truly hate. There are those I pity and despise, but not hate.
31. Rock and Roll or Rap?
Rock and Roll all the way, baby!
32. Do you have a relative in prison?
No.
33. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror like your favorite singer?
Of course.
34. Do you know how to play chess?
Yeah.
35. What food do you find disgusting?
Korean food with tiny, whole fish or crickets in it.
36. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?"
*chuckles* Ah yeah, those were the days.
37. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Nope. Not that kind of person. They're usually not my friends anymore by the time I make fun of them.
38. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes.
39. Have you ever been punched in the face?
No.
40. When is the last time you threw up from drinking too much?
1988.
41. Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater?
Yeah, but I can't remember which movie.
42. Do you ever sit through a bad movie, just to see how bad it got?
Masochism is not one of my qualities...so, no.
43. Would you consider yourself obsessed with anything/anyone?
Um, not really. "Very Interested" is about as far as it gets...
44. Have you ever met someone famous?
Yes.
45. Have you ever been stood up?
Yes. Thank you Hendy you hearltess psluhght
46. When's the last time you screamed at the top of your lungs?
Can't really remember.
47. Did you ever do something that you didn't want to, but did anyway just to fit in?
Are you kidding? I was a poster child for stuff like that.
Monday, March 6, 2006
The Darker Side of Linguistics
A bit of fun & creativity for a Monday.
Years ago, my linguistics professor wrote the word "GHOTI" on the board and asked the class for a pronunciation. Several were offered, but we were all surprised when he pronounced the word as "FISH". He then diagrammed the word out:
GH as in "enough"
O as in "women"
TI as in "addition"
Today, being Monday, and for several other reasons, I've had profane words swimming through my head for most of the morning. So, in the vein of trying to be creative, I've come up with a few linguistically-disguised words that I will be using off and on in the blog. These are meant to express my sentiments while shielding your tender ears (eyes...whatever) from horribly ugly profanity splayed across the screen. Ready?
OU as in "rough"
CH as in "Bach"
Add the 'T and YN (as in "Synonym") for different formulations of the word.
Y as in "crypt"
PT as in "Ptolemy"
U as in "fun"
NEV as in "Nevada"
U as in "sun"
B as in "boy"
O as in "women"
T as in "obituary"
Not so creative as the others... We could abbreviate it as ECOUBY...
And then my favorite word to yell at people who don't know what the blinking yellow light on their car is for...
J as in "Jalapeno"
ULL as in "full"
Here's the challenge: Come up with some linguistically-disguised words and post them here in the comments section. I've shown you mine, now show me yours...
Years ago, my linguistics professor wrote the word "GHOTI" on the board and asked the class for a pronunciation. Several were offered, but we were all surprised when he pronounced the word as "FISH". He then diagrammed the word out:
GH as in "enough"
O as in "women"
TI as in "addition"
Today, being Monday, and for several other reasons, I've had profane words swimming through my head for most of the morning. So, in the vein of trying to be creative, I've come up with a few linguistically-disguised words that I will be using off and on in the blog. These are meant to express my sentiments while shielding your tender ears (eyes...whatever) from horribly ugly profanity splayed across the screen. Ready?
Ghouch
GH as in "enough"OU as in "rough"
CH as in "Bach"
Add the 'T and YN (as in "Synonym") for different formulations of the word.
Tiypt
TI as in "addition"Y as in "crypt"
PT as in "Ptolemy"
Cunevubot
C as in "acid"U as in "fun"
NEV as in "Nevada"
U as in "sun"
B as in "boy"
O as in "women"
T as in "obituary"
Not so creative as the others... We could abbreviate it as ECOUBY...
And then my favorite word to yell at people who don't know what the blinking yellow light on their car is for...
"ACJULL!!!"
AC as in "acid"J as in "Jalapeno"
ULL as in "full"
Here's the challenge: Come up with some linguistically-disguised words and post them here in the comments section. I've shown you mine, now show me yours...
Friday, March 3, 2006
I *heart* Morning Radio
Or at least one particular show. Though I'm not going to name it in this post, 'cause I can just see them stumbling across this and going, "Aw hell, somebody blogged about that?"
Here is an exchange between the traffic reporter (early 20's, nice looking woman) and one of the two hosts (early 30's, married with kids) this morning:
Host: And it's time for our traffic report by Chelsea..
Chelsea: But we just did traffic
Host: We did?
Chelsea: Yeah, weren't you listening?
Host: Um, no. I have A.D.D.
Chelsea: You really know how to make a girl feel appreciated! You guys probably wouldn't notice if I was here or not...
Host: Oh, hey, that's where you're wrong, Chels... We always know when you're here... 'cause the place generally smells a whole lot nicer...
Chelsea: Awwww...thanks!
Host: And... And you're easy on the eyes, too Chels... It's really a high point of my day...
Chelsea: Awwww....
Host: I think I just sexually harassed you on the air...
Chelsea: Uh, yeah, you did...
Host: And by the way, you have a great ass, too...
These guys seriously keep me from slipping into a coma on days like today, and ultimately becoming a twisted, fiery, bloody mass of Honda on the interstate. Yay morning radio!!!
more later...
Here is an exchange between the traffic reporter (early 20's, nice looking woman) and one of the two hosts (early 30's, married with kids) this morning:
Host: And it's time for our traffic report by Chelsea..
Chelsea: But we just did traffic
Host: We did?
Chelsea: Yeah, weren't you listening?
Host: Um, no. I have A.D.D.
Chelsea: You really know how to make a girl feel appreciated! You guys probably wouldn't notice if I was here or not...
Host: Oh, hey, that's where you're wrong, Chels... We always know when you're here... 'cause the place generally smells a whole lot nicer...
Chelsea: Awwww...thanks!
Host: And... And you're easy on the eyes, too Chels... It's really a high point of my day...
Chelsea: Awwww....
Host: I think I just sexually harassed you on the air...
Chelsea: Uh, yeah, you did...
Host: And by the way, you have a great ass, too...
These guys seriously keep me from slipping into a coma on days like today, and ultimately becoming a twisted, fiery, bloody mass of Honda on the interstate. Yay morning radio!!!
more later...
Thursday, March 2, 2006
Psychobabble...
Now you have to put up with the ramblings of a sick mind.... BWAHAhahahahahahaha!
Tubs: First off, most of us have a bathtub in our home, no? Is your tub deep enough to cover you completely with water? Mine is. Ha! Jealous? Probably not. But as I was soaking yesterday in a piping hot bath in the middle of my delerium, I thought of the next bath the I want to have: The Bain Ultra Tub. Just at a glance, I'm thinking I like the Ayoura 7236. These come with air jets (with a pattern set up specifically on your back), heated backrest, heated headrest, and chromatherapy lights.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm all about light and color. I must have been a moth in a previous life... But to have light and color while bathing in a hot, luxurious bath of bubbles? Oh, Heaven! Throw in a CD player with some George Winston, Rachmaninov or maybe some mid-80's Robert Plant, and I'm happy as a clam!
Freeway Signs: Speaking of light and color, did you know that the newer freeway signs have "Rainbow Tape" lettering? I noticed this as I drove home yesterday in the early afternoon. Ooh, sparkly!
Speeding: Do police officers really appreciate the possibility of hallucination when you're sick? Good thing I wasn't pulled over yesterday while I was doing 95mph on the freeway, trying to get away from an 80-foot tall Catherine Zeta-Jones who kept throwing cell phones that were as large as a VW bus at me, while screaming "Get More!!!". Could have been worse... could have been Rosie O'Donnell.
Movie Quote: Back in the day, I really enjoyed semi-deep movies like "2001: A Space Odyssey." As astronaut David Bowman nears the monolith, he remarks: "My God, it's full of stars!" So was he referring to this large, black featureless monolith as the literal seed of a sun? I don't think so.
I think he was saying that somehow, scientists were able to take every worthless celebrity in Hollywood (and everywhere else on earth), cram them into a monolith, and put them in orbit around Jupiter. Wow, the miracle of science! If that's what the future holds, then hey, bring it on!
Music: One nasty byproduct of being really sick is that I end up getting a really random and annoying song stuck in my head for the entire day. This time it was the song off of the original Muppet Movie that they sing when the arrive in Hollywood:
"Cause somebody out there loves you, stands up and hollers for more (More!) You've got a home at the magic store!"
I think that does it for me. Back to work.
Tubs: First off, most of us have a bathtub in our home, no? Is your tub deep enough to cover you completely with water? Mine is. Ha! Jealous? Probably not. But as I was soaking yesterday in a piping hot bath in the middle of my delerium, I thought of the next bath the I want to have: The Bain Ultra Tub. Just at a glance, I'm thinking I like the Ayoura 7236. These come with air jets (with a pattern set up specifically on your back), heated backrest, heated headrest, and chromatherapy lights.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm all about light and color. I must have been a moth in a previous life... But to have light and color while bathing in a hot, luxurious bath of bubbles? Oh, Heaven! Throw in a CD player with some George Winston, Rachmaninov or maybe some mid-80's Robert Plant, and I'm happy as a clam!
Freeway Signs: Speaking of light and color, did you know that the newer freeway signs have "Rainbow Tape" lettering? I noticed this as I drove home yesterday in the early afternoon. Ooh, sparkly!
Speeding: Do police officers really appreciate the possibility of hallucination when you're sick? Good thing I wasn't pulled over yesterday while I was doing 95mph on the freeway, trying to get away from an 80-foot tall Catherine Zeta-Jones who kept throwing cell phones that were as large as a VW bus at me, while screaming "Get More!!!". Could have been worse... could have been Rosie O'Donnell.
Movie Quote: Back in the day, I really enjoyed semi-deep movies like "2001: A Space Odyssey." As astronaut David Bowman nears the monolith, he remarks: "My God, it's full of stars!" So was he referring to this large, black featureless monolith as the literal seed of a sun? I don't think so.
I think he was saying that somehow, scientists were able to take every worthless celebrity in Hollywood (and everywhere else on earth), cram them into a monolith, and put them in orbit around Jupiter. Wow, the miracle of science! If that's what the future holds, then hey, bring it on!
Music: One nasty byproduct of being really sick is that I end up getting a really random and annoying song stuck in my head for the entire day. This time it was the song off of the original Muppet Movie that they sing when the arrive in Hollywood:
"Cause somebody out there loves you, stands up and hollers for more (More!) You've got a home at the magic store!"
I think that does it for me. Back to work.
Wednesday, March 1, 2006
sssssssssiiiiiiccccckkkkkk!
This past week has been the week from hell. I've had a project due by 11:00 today, and I was fairly confident that I could have the whole thing finished, no problem.
But then, as always in engineering, new problems would present themselves as the old problems were resolved, and it just loomed into this huge thing that I was racing to complete on time. It probably didn't help much that I spent a fair amount of time blogging and emailing last week (Bad blogger, bad!)
So, this morning I wake up, and surprise of all surprises: I have the stomach flu. I make the 50 mile commute anyway, cranking out as much as I can on the project, all the while having fever pains, chills, and all of the other lovely symptoms you can imagine that accompany this nasty flu.
Now the thing is out the door for review. I originally had a meeting with the engineer from hell today, but that got cancelled. Yay me.
I'm thinking about just calling it a day within the next hour or so, and heading home and going to bed.
SO Sorry. I haven't been visiting all of you this week; I know you've really, really missed me! (They say that hallucinations and delusions of grandeur are common with this type of flu... ooh look, a pink walrus!). I'll be back in a day or two...
If anyone catches the license plate of the dump truck that ran over me, please forward it to the appropriate authorities...
I've updated the blog roll a bit, but I'm not finished. There's a few more to add, and a few more to take off... I've removed some dead links, and there's a few more that are more of the "high content" type sites that are large and impersonal, and yet others that I just don't really relate to anymore. Sooner or later, It'll all be changed. And I need to think of a makeover for the page when I hit the 200th post...
194 posts down... 106 left to go
But then, as always in engineering, new problems would present themselves as the old problems were resolved, and it just loomed into this huge thing that I was racing to complete on time. It probably didn't help much that I spent a fair amount of time blogging and emailing last week (Bad blogger, bad!)
So, this morning I wake up, and surprise of all surprises: I have the stomach flu. I make the 50 mile commute anyway, cranking out as much as I can on the project, all the while having fever pains, chills, and all of the other lovely symptoms you can imagine that accompany this nasty flu.
Now the thing is out the door for review. I originally had a meeting with the engineer from hell today, but that got cancelled. Yay me.
I'm thinking about just calling it a day within the next hour or so, and heading home and going to bed.
SO Sorry. I haven't been visiting all of you this week; I know you've really, really missed me! (They say that hallucinations and delusions of grandeur are common with this type of flu... ooh look, a pink walrus!). I'll be back in a day or two...
If anyone catches the license plate of the dump truck that ran over me, please forward it to the appropriate authorities...
I've updated the blog roll a bit, but I'm not finished. There's a few more to add, and a few more to take off... I've removed some dead links, and there's a few more that are more of the "high content" type sites that are large and impersonal, and yet others that I just don't really relate to anymore. Sooner or later, It'll all be changed. And I need to think of a makeover for the page when I hit the 200th post...
194 posts down... 106 left to go
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Throw us a bone, Britney!...er, beads, I mean.
"Spears Takes Katrina Victims Shopping" reads the headline. Not to detract from the fact that she actually did something good with her money, because it meant the world to those four girls... but why do those who have so much, give so little?
Contrast Our favorite little shopping diva to someone else in peer group: Hilary Duff.
When the hurricane inflicted so much damage and turmoil upon the "Big Easy", what did our celebrity friends do?
Britney Spears: Wrote an open letter to the residents of New Orleans, expressing words of encouragement.
Hilary Duff: Wrote a $250,000 check.
Can you guess which one I'm more impressed with? I'm thinking "shaking a few assets loose" tops "shaking a loose ass" any day.
I'm just saying...
Contrast Our favorite little shopping diva to someone else in peer group: Hilary Duff.
When the hurricane inflicted so much damage and turmoil upon the "Big Easy", what did our celebrity friends do?
Britney Spears: Wrote an open letter to the residents of New Orleans, expressing words of encouragement.
Hilary Duff: Wrote a $250,000 check.
Can you guess which one I'm more impressed with? I'm thinking "shaking a few assets loose" tops "shaking a loose ass" any day.
I'm just saying...
Happy Mardi Gras!
Good Fat Tuesday to everyone! Has anyone here ever been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans?
True to the spirit of the "Big Easy", Mardi Gras continues on this year, although not quite so grand in scale. It is said that Mardi Gras is something that everyone has to experience at least once. Just like being in Times Square at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve.
One of my friends has been to Mardi Gras, and says that it was nothing more than a huge drunken parade, with chests being bared, alcohol flowing freely, and the stench of urine in the air, as the very drunk demonstrate their inability to distinguish the difference between a toilet, and a car parked on the street. It sounds like fun, if I was single.
Times Square on New Year's Eve? I can't imagine being stuck in a crowd that is as large as half the population of my home state. Where do people go to relieve themselves there? And if you are able to hold it for six or eight hours, the possibility of being pickpocketed or knifed still exists, too. Also, would be a lot more exciting if I was single.
For now, I will enjoy Mardi Gras from the comfort of my own home, via the Travel Channel.
I tip my hat to those who carry on the celebration despite the devastation, because after all is said and done, it's a celebration of the human spirit. And it shows the rest of the world that a little wind and water won't keep us down...
True to the spirit of the "Big Easy", Mardi Gras continues on this year, although not quite so grand in scale. It is said that Mardi Gras is something that everyone has to experience at least once. Just like being in Times Square at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve.
One of my friends has been to Mardi Gras, and says that it was nothing more than a huge drunken parade, with chests being bared, alcohol flowing freely, and the stench of urine in the air, as the very drunk demonstrate their inability to distinguish the difference between a toilet, and a car parked on the street. It sounds like fun, if I was single.
Times Square on New Year's Eve? I can't imagine being stuck in a crowd that is as large as half the population of my home state. Where do people go to relieve themselves there? And if you are able to hold it for six or eight hours, the possibility of being pickpocketed or knifed still exists, too. Also, would be a lot more exciting if I was single.
For now, I will enjoy Mardi Gras from the comfort of my own home, via the Travel Channel.
I tip my hat to those who carry on the celebration despite the devastation, because after all is said and done, it's a celebration of the human spirit. And it shows the rest of the world that a little wind and water won't keep us down...
Thursday, February 23, 2006
When I Grow Up (To Be A Man)
Like I'm gonna grow up and be a woman? *Caution: Long Post)
When I was a kid, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. That is, until I saw a page of houseplans for the house my parents were having built. It was at that moment that I knew I wanted to be an Architect. I could look at a set of plans and completely visualize what the house looked like on the inside. It was soooo cool, and totally a geek thing. By the time I was in 5th grade, I had designed probably a dozen mansion-sized houses. And they were ALL mine, because before anything, I was gonna be rich. Architecture was just a thing that I'd use to pass the hours away during the day.
As I started to mature, I realized that this fantasy had to have at least some bearing in reality. Where was I gonna get all of that money? It was at this point that I knew I was gonna be a Rock Star. Me, my best friend, this cheerleader girl that I was going to eventually marry, and a nice girl that I picked out for him (damned egocentric, wasn't I?) were all going to be members of the most successful band EVER. We would have personal fortunes in the billions, and the whole damn world was going to revolve around us. I designed a killer mansion on the Malibu bluff, and life was looking pretty sweet. *Problem* Although I have a pretty darn good singing voice, I wasn't brilliant enough to write anything of my own. I wouldn't be very successful in the music industry after all (although so many people are now making big bucks off of cover songs).
I would have to be a Heart Surgeon. Yes, a world-famous heart surgeon! And I would work at the UCLA Medical Center! (Can you tell that I absolutely love UCLA?) That dream lived on for a few years until once again, my failing grades determined that I would not be hacking into chests (legally) anytime in the forseeable future.
I started to become interested in institutional design. Insititutional as in "School", not "Prison" (although most kids agree there's hardly any difference). I designed a killer high school that my imaginary kids could go to in Malibu. But then, I saw picture of the Malibu bluff, and there just wasn't room for a school that size. So, I moved it up the canyon to a place called "Las Virgenes", and the school continued to grow... and grow... until it had its own sports complex, ampitheater, football stadium, TV station, dormitories, etc. So, my next wanna-be job was School Administrator, because I had just finished designing this amazing place, and damned if I didn't want to stay there! And oversee everything. Yep. But I'm about as qualified to be a school administrator as... as... Homer Simpson is to run a nuclear plant. (Oh wait, he does that.)
I started thinking about Architect again, and setting my sights on UCLA School of Architecture (bought the campus poster and hung it on my wall, and all that) when "Top Gun" came out. And then I knew I wanted to be a Navy Pilot. And ride a bad-ass motorcycle. And have some hot, sexy babe fall completely head over heels for me. Because I looked good in Navy Whites. And had a killer tan. And did I mention the part about flying the multi-million dollar supersonic fighter plane? Yeah, I'd be the star of the show at a 20-year class reunion (egads!... That's next year!)
I took the ASVAB test (Military aptitude test) in high school, and scored in the 97th percentile, without even really trying. I just took it to get out of class for two hours. I had military recruiters calling me for weeks, but unfortunately, I shied away from those opportunities at that time. I regret not having taken advantage of some of those opportunities; they would have offered me structure that I was very much lacking in my life for several years to come.
I went to college, experienced freedom - true freedom - for the first time in my life. With the pittance that I earned working at a little convenience store, and my best friend's car, I could do anything. Including flunk out of my entire first year of college. A few years later, in a fit of insanity, I registered at ITT Techinical Institute so that I could be a CAD Designer, which at the time was a possible backdoor way into the architecture industry. I attended, learned, and kicked total ass in my grades! High Honor roll for almost every quarter I was there, and I was actually learning things like math and physics... actually learning them (totally unlike high school).
A few years later, I decided that I really, really liked new houses, so I enrolled in the Building Construction / Construction Management program at another college, and got within a semester of graduating, but ran out of money to continue. I wanted to be a Contractor, but a few years into the whole thing, I saw how really "feast or famine" the entire contractor thing was here in Utah. It was truly dog eat dog.
So, I've floated around a few different jobs over the past so many years before landing at my next career obsession: Chiropractor.
For those of you who have read this post, you'll know why. In short, I have a doctor now who is pretty much 100% effective at diagnosing and treating problems in not only myself, but my kids as well. He literally can rid me of an allergy in less than three minutes. I was amazed and enthralled. I asked where I could go to learn something like that. He said "you learn it from someone who knows it, and I will teach it to you if you go through chiropractic school before I retire." How could I refuse that? You would really have to know this guy and some of the amazing things he can do to know why I'm so excited.
So that's me.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
When I was a kid, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. That is, until I saw a page of houseplans for the house my parents were having built. It was at that moment that I knew I wanted to be an Architect. I could look at a set of plans and completely visualize what the house looked like on the inside. It was soooo cool, and totally a geek thing. By the time I was in 5th grade, I had designed probably a dozen mansion-sized houses. And they were ALL mine, because before anything, I was gonna be rich. Architecture was just a thing that I'd use to pass the hours away during the day.
As I started to mature, I realized that this fantasy had to have at least some bearing in reality. Where was I gonna get all of that money? It was at this point that I knew I was gonna be a Rock Star. Me, my best friend, this cheerleader girl that I was going to eventually marry, and a nice girl that I picked out for him (damned egocentric, wasn't I?) were all going to be members of the most successful band EVER. We would have personal fortunes in the billions, and the whole damn world was going to revolve around us. I designed a killer mansion on the Malibu bluff, and life was looking pretty sweet. *Problem* Although I have a pretty darn good singing voice, I wasn't brilliant enough to write anything of my own. I wouldn't be very successful in the music industry after all (although so many people are now making big bucks off of cover songs).
I would have to be a Heart Surgeon. Yes, a world-famous heart surgeon! And I would work at the UCLA Medical Center! (Can you tell that I absolutely love UCLA?) That dream lived on for a few years until once again, my failing grades determined that I would not be hacking into chests (legally) anytime in the forseeable future.
I started to become interested in institutional design. Insititutional as in "School", not "Prison" (although most kids agree there's hardly any difference). I designed a killer high school that my imaginary kids could go to in Malibu. But then, I saw picture of the Malibu bluff, and there just wasn't room for a school that size. So, I moved it up the canyon to a place called "Las Virgenes", and the school continued to grow... and grow... until it had its own sports complex, ampitheater, football stadium, TV station, dormitories, etc. So, my next wanna-be job was School Administrator, because I had just finished designing this amazing place, and damned if I didn't want to stay there! And oversee everything. Yep. But I'm about as qualified to be a school administrator as... as... Homer Simpson is to run a nuclear plant. (Oh wait, he does that.)
I started thinking about Architect again, and setting my sights on UCLA School of Architecture (bought the campus poster and hung it on my wall, and all that) when "Top Gun" came out. And then I knew I wanted to be a Navy Pilot. And ride a bad-ass motorcycle. And have some hot, sexy babe fall completely head over heels for me. Because I looked good in Navy Whites. And had a killer tan. And did I mention the part about flying the multi-million dollar supersonic fighter plane? Yeah, I'd be the star of the show at a 20-year class reunion (egads!... That's next year!)
I took the ASVAB test (Military aptitude test) in high school, and scored in the 97th percentile, without even really trying. I just took it to get out of class for two hours. I had military recruiters calling me for weeks, but unfortunately, I shied away from those opportunities at that time. I regret not having taken advantage of some of those opportunities; they would have offered me structure that I was very much lacking in my life for several years to come.
I went to college, experienced freedom - true freedom - for the first time in my life. With the pittance that I earned working at a little convenience store, and my best friend's car, I could do anything. Including flunk out of my entire first year of college. A few years later, in a fit of insanity, I registered at ITT Techinical Institute so that I could be a CAD Designer, which at the time was a possible backdoor way into the architecture industry. I attended, learned, and kicked total ass in my grades! High Honor roll for almost every quarter I was there, and I was actually learning things like math and physics... actually learning them (totally unlike high school).
A few years later, I decided that I really, really liked new houses, so I enrolled in the Building Construction / Construction Management program at another college, and got within a semester of graduating, but ran out of money to continue. I wanted to be a Contractor, but a few years into the whole thing, I saw how really "feast or famine" the entire contractor thing was here in Utah. It was truly dog eat dog.
So, I've floated around a few different jobs over the past so many years before landing at my next career obsession: Chiropractor.
For those of you who have read this post, you'll know why. In short, I have a doctor now who is pretty much 100% effective at diagnosing and treating problems in not only myself, but my kids as well. He literally can rid me of an allergy in less than three minutes. I was amazed and enthralled. I asked where I could go to learn something like that. He said "you learn it from someone who knows it, and I will teach it to you if you go through chiropractic school before I retire." How could I refuse that? You would really have to know this guy and some of the amazing things he can do to know why I'm so excited.
So that's me.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Monday, February 20, 2006
President's Day Special
So it's a day late. Sue me. (Unless of course you are a lawyer, or you have enough extra cash laying around for frivilous lawsuits).
"George Bush makes me smoke!" says actor Sean Penn, who had successfully kicked the habit a while back, but recently started chain smoking again. Mr. Penn credits the skull-crushing stress that President George Bush causes him as his reason for becoming a lean mean nicotine machine once more.
So let's have a little fun with the holiday...
Once again kids, keep it fun...
"George Bush makes me smoke!" says actor Sean Penn, who had successfully kicked the habit a while back, but recently started chain smoking again. Mr. Penn credits the skull-crushing stress that President George Bush causes him as his reason for becoming a lean mean nicotine machine once more.
So let's have a little fun with the holiday...
- Pick a president (or a few), and tell me something about the man that stands out in your mind. (When I say "stands out" I mean in a way that a piece of lava rock with pieces of broken glass and steel wool sticking out of it couldn't scour from your mind.)
Examples:- George W. Bush: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
- Bill Clinton: "Depends on what your definition of 'is' is"
- Ronald Reagan: "Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
But let's keep it fun, folks... check the venom at the door. - Next, tell me about a vice that either the current president or a past president is responsible for you doing (like Sean Penn's smoking). Feel free to make stuff up, if you can't think of anything.
- Third, care to venture a guess on who might be the next prez in '08?
Once again kids, keep it fun...
Friday, February 17, 2006
The Lighter Side of Life...
The storm has blown over, and I have lived to drive my mind-numbing 50 mile commute another day.
I just wanted to share a little bit of the lighter side of this week with you, you know, the part that isn't covered with puke?
Daughters
8-yr old: Daddy, Jasmyne's brother called me an a-hole today.
Me: Why'd he do that?
8-yr old: I dunno. I didn't say anything bad to him.
Me: Well, sweetie, when people use bad words like that, it just shows that they're not very smart. Like when I get mad and use bad words? I'm not being very smart.
8-yr old: Yeah, instead of saying a bad word, you could just say: "I'm feeling rather infelicitous right now..."
Me: Infelicitous? What the he.. Wha.. Where did you come up with that word?
Another conversation...
6-yr old: (doing homework) Daddy, can you tell me what 13 take away 5 is?
Me: Why don't you try working it out on your fingers?
6-yr old: Duh, dad. I don't have 13 fingers...
A game of hide and seek...
2-yr old: Find me, Daddy!
Me: Where are you?
2-yr old: Underneath the blankie on the kitchen floor.
Movie Review: Just Like Heaven (Mark Ruffalo, Reese Witherspoon)
We checked this one out the same time we checked out the "Legend of Zorro". We finally got to watch it last night, without the two year old dancing between us and the TV, without the litany of questions from the 6-yr old and the 8-yr old (although at one point, the 4 month old started laughing in his sleep).
It was a pretty good show, though it had its loose ends and gaps, and its own little improbability factor. But in spite of all that, it was a hundred times better than the Zorro flick. The characters were pretty well played, and it had some pretty funny moments. A couple of ingenious moments as well, and my favorite scene is when Mark Ruffalo enlists the help of his best friend to steal a body from the hospital.
Money quotes:
The quote that really got me though was:
Reese: "I think i know what my unfinished business is"
Mark: "What?"
Reese: "You"
Because. Four and a half years ago, a young woman touched my life as she died. I can't explain really how, or why. But because of her, I have been so very, very blessed in my life; so much of what I have today is because of her.
All paranormal profundity aside, it was a fun show, and I think we'll add it to our DVD collection.
I just wanted to share a little bit of the lighter side of this week with you, you know, the part that isn't covered with puke?
Daughters
8-yr old: Daddy, Jasmyne's brother called me an a-hole today.
Me: Why'd he do that?
8-yr old: I dunno. I didn't say anything bad to him.
Me: Well, sweetie, when people use bad words like that, it just shows that they're not very smart. Like when I get mad and use bad words? I'm not being very smart.
8-yr old: Yeah, instead of saying a bad word, you could just say: "I'm feeling rather infelicitous right now..."
Me: Infelicitous? What the he.. Wha.. Where did you come up with that word?
Another conversation...
6-yr old: (doing homework) Daddy, can you tell me what 13 take away 5 is?
Me: Why don't you try working it out on your fingers?
6-yr old: Duh, dad. I don't have 13 fingers...
A game of hide and seek...
2-yr old: Find me, Daddy!
Me: Where are you?
2-yr old: Underneath the blankie on the kitchen floor.
Movie Review: Just Like Heaven (Mark Ruffalo, Reese Witherspoon)
We checked this one out the same time we checked out the "Legend of Zorro". We finally got to watch it last night, without the two year old dancing between us and the TV, without the litany of questions from the 6-yr old and the 8-yr old (although at one point, the 4 month old started laughing in his sleep).
It was a pretty good show, though it had its loose ends and gaps, and its own little improbability factor. But in spite of all that, it was a hundred times better than the Zorro flick. The characters were pretty well played, and it had some pretty funny moments. A couple of ingenious moments as well, and my favorite scene is when Mark Ruffalo enlists the help of his best friend to steal a body from the hospital.
Money quotes:
- "I am not doing this for you. Some day I am going to need to move a body and I don't want to hear any s**t from you."
- "...And the felonies keep piling up!"
- "Who put spongebob in the pasta?"
The quote that really got me though was:
Reese: "I think i know what my unfinished business is"
Mark: "What?"
Reese: "You"
Because. Four and a half years ago, a young woman touched my life as she died. I can't explain really how, or why. But because of her, I have been so very, very blessed in my life; so much of what I have today is because of her.
All paranormal profundity aside, it was a fun show, and I think we'll add it to our DVD collection.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Perception vs. Reality
Another stunning object lesson from my life: Valentine's Day.
DVD ends (finally), and we get the 8-yr old, 2-yr old and baby to bed. I keep the 6-yr old in the family room where I can watch her, because she'll wake up occasionally, not know where she is, and then start screaming from the stomach pain. Oh, and did I mention the shaking?
It is now midnight, and I start to worry about the 2-yr old, who is increasingly whimpering in her sleep. I go upstairs, scoop her up and bring her down to the family room, where I can keep an eye on her, in case she starts throwing up as well. During the next 5 hours, the 6-yr old throws up another 8 to 9 times. Each time, I get up, wash the bowl out, spray lysol into it and return it to her.
Around 4:00am, the 2-yr old wakes up, announces she wants to sleep with Mommy, not next to Daddy on the family room floor. So I carry her upstairs, and ask my wife not to wake me up at 5:30. I notice it is snowing outside. Snowing alot.
By the time I finally make it out the door this morning, the roads are just pure crap! I get on to the freeway, and within the first two miles I see 8 accidents, including a semi truck rollover, several collisions, and even more cars off the side of the road. Black ice, did I mention black ice?
Yours truly came very close to becoming a statistic on his way to work. I hit a patch of black ice on the freeway, and the car started sliding sideways. I spun the steering wheel the other direction, and the car went into a wicked fishtail.
Thanks to divine providence, and certain driving skills developed from growing up in Park City, Utah, I pulled the car out of the fishtail and got off the freeway at the next exit. And yes, my underwear was still clean!
I continued on to work, taking the alternate highways and finally arriving after two hours on the road. Then the weather report... did I mention the weather report? It says that things are going to get worse...
*The Legend of Zorro... The best thing that I can say about the DVD was that it was a free rental. Honestly. I doubt I have seen a more cliché, more predictable film in my life. Catherine Zeta-Jones spends a lot of time looking sultry, and wistfully staring off into space, Antonio Banderas spends a lot of time being moody and doing gymnastics that would put Mary-Lou Retton to shame, the kid spends a lot of time being a brat, the bad guys spend a lot of time being bad... actors. Funny that the federal agents figure out who Zorro is in just a matter of minutes, and yet the people who have lived with Zorro for years have no clue. And then there's the improbability of so many things... It's like an alternate reality opened up in the Hollywood studio, and the writers & producers said "Yeah, that would be believable..." Things like declaring California's statehood in the middle of a desert somewhere, a miraculous extra set of rails to divert the speeding train onto... in the middle of said desert, and so many other things that I can't even count. My apologies to those of you who really, really enjoyed this show. I didn't. But that could be entirely due to the fountain of vomit spewing from my daughter every 30 minutes...
Pure Fantasy
Getting a babysitter for the kids, having dinner at a nice restaurant, then watching a romantic DVD at home after the kids are in bed, then perhaps some naughty fun...Perceived Plans
Eat heart-shaped pizza with kids, then sit back for a fun, relaxing evening as a family and watch a family type DVD.The Horrid Reality Of It All
Ate heart-shaped pizza with kids, started The Legend of Zorro* DVD, 6-yr old daughter complains that her stomach hurts, and then proceeds to throw up all over the place (Not once, not twice, but three times during the show). The baby had unbelievable diarrhea up his back and everything, The two year old trips and tries to take out a wall with her head (nice goose-egg now), the 8-yr old is feeling really left out and emotional, and the dog - also feeling left out - starts getting really, really obnoxious.DVD ends (finally), and we get the 8-yr old, 2-yr old and baby to bed. I keep the 6-yr old in the family room where I can watch her, because she'll wake up occasionally, not know where she is, and then start screaming from the stomach pain. Oh, and did I mention the shaking?
It is now midnight, and I start to worry about the 2-yr old, who is increasingly whimpering in her sleep. I go upstairs, scoop her up and bring her down to the family room, where I can keep an eye on her, in case she starts throwing up as well. During the next 5 hours, the 6-yr old throws up another 8 to 9 times. Each time, I get up, wash the bowl out, spray lysol into it and return it to her.
Around 4:00am, the 2-yr old wakes up, announces she wants to sleep with Mommy, not next to Daddy on the family room floor. So I carry her upstairs, and ask my wife not to wake me up at 5:30. I notice it is snowing outside. Snowing alot.
By the time I finally make it out the door this morning, the roads are just pure crap! I get on to the freeway, and within the first two miles I see 8 accidents, including a semi truck rollover, several collisions, and even more cars off the side of the road. Black ice, did I mention black ice?
Yours truly came very close to becoming a statistic on his way to work. I hit a patch of black ice on the freeway, and the car started sliding sideways. I spun the steering wheel the other direction, and the car went into a wicked fishtail.
Thanks to divine providence, and certain driving skills developed from growing up in Park City, Utah, I pulled the car out of the fishtail and got off the freeway at the next exit. And yes, my underwear was still clean!
I continued on to work, taking the alternate highways and finally arriving after two hours on the road. Then the weather report... did I mention the weather report? It says that things are going to get worse...
*The Legend of Zorro... The best thing that I can say about the DVD was that it was a free rental. Honestly. I doubt I have seen a more cliché, more predictable film in my life. Catherine Zeta-Jones spends a lot of time looking sultry, and wistfully staring off into space, Antonio Banderas spends a lot of time being moody and doing gymnastics that would put Mary-Lou Retton to shame, the kid spends a lot of time being a brat, the bad guys spend a lot of time being bad... actors. Funny that the federal agents figure out who Zorro is in just a matter of minutes, and yet the people who have lived with Zorro for years have no clue. And then there's the improbability of so many things... It's like an alternate reality opened up in the Hollywood studio, and the writers & producers said "Yeah, that would be believable..." Things like declaring California's statehood in the middle of a desert somewhere, a miraculous extra set of rails to divert the speeding train onto... in the middle of said desert, and so many other things that I can't even count. My apologies to those of you who really, really enjoyed this show. I didn't. But that could be entirely due to the fountain of vomit spewing from my daughter every 30 minutes...
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Spreading the Cheer of VD
"VD" meaning Valentine's Day, of course!
One of our local radio stations has contracted with the Saltair chorus to send a bunch of quartets all up and down the Salt Lake Valley to serenade people on their porch.
You call in, tell them you why your sweetheart deserves to be serenaded, and they go and do it. Sweet! I live too far away for that, though. I'd end up having to pay for gas and lunch for those guys.
It's already decided that I'm not buying a dozen roses for my wife today. I mean really, the price for roses literally triples during this time of year! So here's my thinking:
I'll buy her one or two roses, and then wrap a few things that she really wants up with them. As luck would have it, the things she wants won't cost an arm or a leg, either. She's taking cake decorating classes right now, and would like more frosting bags. And a few specialty nozzles for them too. I can get all of that for less than what the dozen roses would cost.
Our favorite Valentine's Day tradition is to order a heart-shaped pizza from Papa Murphy's. The kids think it's a blast. Then we'll sit back and watch a movie. Probably that Reese Witherspoon show.... Just like Heaven?
So, for all of you: Tell me about your Valentine's Day plans! What are your favorite traditions, or favorite Valentine's memories?
One of our local radio stations has contracted with the Saltair chorus to send a bunch of quartets all up and down the Salt Lake Valley to serenade people on their porch.
You call in, tell them you why your sweetheart deserves to be serenaded, and they go and do it. Sweet! I live too far away for that, though. I'd end up having to pay for gas and lunch for those guys.
It's already decided that I'm not buying a dozen roses for my wife today. I mean really, the price for roses literally triples during this time of year! So here's my thinking:
I'll buy her one or two roses, and then wrap a few things that she really wants up with them. As luck would have it, the things she wants won't cost an arm or a leg, either. She's taking cake decorating classes right now, and would like more frosting bags. And a few specialty nozzles for them too. I can get all of that for less than what the dozen roses would cost.
Our favorite Valentine's Day tradition is to order a heart-shaped pizza from Papa Murphy's. The kids think it's a blast. Then we'll sit back and watch a movie. Probably that Reese Witherspoon show.... Just like Heaven?
So, for all of you: Tell me about your Valentine's Day plans! What are your favorite traditions, or favorite Valentine's memories?
Monday, February 13, 2006
Stolen Survey
This survey comes straight from the pages of Crouching Mommy, Hidden Laundry. It's not actually stolen, but saying it is makes it seem a bit more fun...
1) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"vertical alignment generation and editing, stationing, cogo point placement and..." Boring drivel at its best. Suicide hotline operators have actually been forbidden to read out of the "Inroads Fundamentals" handbook when talking to distraught callers.
2) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can and see what you touch. Plans, Plans and more Plans. I can almost touch the wall from here.
3) What is the last thing you watched on TV?VH1's 100 top teen stars (last night). When comparing myself to other teens from the 80's (like Corey Feldman, for example) I suddenly don't feel so bad about where I am in life.
4) Without looking, guess what time it is.11:57am
5) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?12:00pm. Hey, not too bad...
6) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?The secretaries talking.
7) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?Getting out of my car going into the office building.
8) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?cmhl's page (where I stole the survey from)
9) What are you wearing?
Faded jeans and a red golf shirt with a "bleach burn" on it. And a hunter green pullover sweater on top of that.
10) Did you dream last night?
Yeah, but I can't remember what.
11) When did you last laugh?
This morning, listening to the morning show description of Yoko Ono at the olympics. (cue fingernails on chalkboards here)
12) What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Pictures of my family, cartoons, maps, a calendar, and my own personalized barcode.
13) Seen anything weird lately?
Define "weird". I am a father of four, and I just take it all in stride...
14) What do you think of this quiz?
I wouldn't take it if I didn't like it.
15) What is the last movie you saw?
Wallace and Gromit's Curse of the Were-Rabbit. Highly recommended. Gromit's expressions just make the whole film...
16) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A new house... go to chiropractic school, top off kids' college funds, vacation(s), share it with others...
17) Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I went to Jimmy Osmond's (of Osmond Family fame) wedding reception, at which time he told me "You're next, Nilo". He was wrong; it would be another four years before I'd marry.
18) If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Change it into a cube shape. Or maybe a dodecahedron. You were expecting something deep?
19) Do you like to dance?
Love to. That doesn't mean I'm good at it. Remember the scene from "Cool Runnings" where Doug E. Doug is line dancing, and is making all the wrong moves, and dances in the wrong direction? That's me. I'm the vanilla version of Doug E. Doug.
20) George Bush?
No, I'm sorry... George Bush doesn't live here. You've reached the wrong number.
21) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Alison Rebecca
22) Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Alex Christopher
23) Would you ever consider living abroad?
I have. It was amazing.
24) What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"Whoa, hey... What are you doing here? Just messin' with ya... Come on in..."
And in a true, lazy-Monday fashion, I pass this survey on to you. I won't name names, but those who are so inclined are more than welcome to grab this and use it on their own pages.
1) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"vertical alignment generation and editing, stationing, cogo point placement and..." Boring drivel at its best. Suicide hotline operators have actually been forbidden to read out of the "Inroads Fundamentals" handbook when talking to distraught callers.
2) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can and see what you touch. Plans, Plans and more Plans. I can almost touch the wall from here.
3) What is the last thing you watched on TV?VH1's 100 top teen stars (last night). When comparing myself to other teens from the 80's (like Corey Feldman, for example) I suddenly don't feel so bad about where I am in life.
4) Without looking, guess what time it is.11:57am
5) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?12:00pm. Hey, not too bad...
6) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?The secretaries talking.
7) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?Getting out of my car going into the office building.
8) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?cmhl's page (where I stole the survey from)
9) What are you wearing?
Faded jeans and a red golf shirt with a "bleach burn" on it. And a hunter green pullover sweater on top of that.
10) Did you dream last night?
Yeah, but I can't remember what.
11) When did you last laugh?
This morning, listening to the morning show description of Yoko Ono at the olympics. (cue fingernails on chalkboards here)
12) What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Pictures of my family, cartoons, maps, a calendar, and my own personalized barcode.
13) Seen anything weird lately?
Define "weird". I am a father of four, and I just take it all in stride...
14) What do you think of this quiz?
I wouldn't take it if I didn't like it.
15) What is the last movie you saw?
Wallace and Gromit's Curse of the Were-Rabbit. Highly recommended. Gromit's expressions just make the whole film...
16) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A new house... go to chiropractic school, top off kids' college funds, vacation(s), share it with others...
17) Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I went to Jimmy Osmond's (of Osmond Family fame) wedding reception, at which time he told me "You're next, Nilo". He was wrong; it would be another four years before I'd marry.
18) If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Change it into a cube shape. Or maybe a dodecahedron. You were expecting something deep?
19) Do you like to dance?
Love to. That doesn't mean I'm good at it. Remember the scene from "Cool Runnings" where Doug E. Doug is line dancing, and is making all the wrong moves, and dances in the wrong direction? That's me. I'm the vanilla version of Doug E. Doug.
20) George Bush?
No, I'm sorry... George Bush doesn't live here. You've reached the wrong number.
21) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Alison Rebecca
22) Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Alex Christopher
23) Would you ever consider living abroad?
I have. It was amazing.
24) What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"Whoa, hey... What are you doing here? Just messin' with ya... Come on in..."
And in a true, lazy-Monday fashion, I pass this survey on to you. I won't name names, but those who are so inclined are more than welcome to grab this and use it on their own pages.
Thursday, February 9, 2006
So, Why Now??
So, the fury continues to rage throughout the muslim world over a collection of political cartoons of the prophet Mohammed.
People have died in the rioting, many have been injured... cars and buildings have been destroyed, boycotts have been put in place, and millions live in fear of what could really happen if the powderkeg of extremist Islam blows up.
Oh, lest I forget... are we all on the same page here? Does everybody know that the cartoons were first published back in October 2005? Not only that, but an Egyptian newspaper also published them... right at the height of Ramadan, and there wasn't so much as a "squeak" of outrage...
So, what gives now?
And then, in an unsurprising turn of events, marching muslims in Afghanistan direct their anger toward the United States, rather than the European countries that published the cartoons. Because the U.S. is "the leader of Europe, and the leading infidel in the world."
Again, why all of the rage and anger now... nearly four months after the initial publication of the cartoons?
Can anyone enlighten me here? Comments much appreciated.
People have died in the rioting, many have been injured... cars and buildings have been destroyed, boycotts have been put in place, and millions live in fear of what could really happen if the powderkeg of extremist Islam blows up.
Oh, lest I forget... are we all on the same page here? Does everybody know that the cartoons were first published back in October 2005? Not only that, but an Egyptian newspaper also published them... right at the height of Ramadan, and there wasn't so much as a "squeak" of outrage...
So, what gives now?
And then, in an unsurprising turn of events, marching muslims in Afghanistan direct their anger toward the United States, rather than the European countries that published the cartoons. Because the U.S. is "the leader of Europe, and the leading infidel in the world."
Again, why all of the rage and anger now... nearly four months after the initial publication of the cartoons?
Can anyone enlighten me here? Comments much appreciated.
Wednesday, February 8, 2006
Odds & Ends
This is the lazy man's way out of a real post, but read on, you still might be entertained...
Top Gun 2: Brokeback Squadron.
Have any of you seen this yet? Better hurry before Tom Cruise's legion of attorneys quash out any suggestion of the idea that the actor is anything other than straight. I don't think I can ever watch Top Gun again without getting creeped out...
Brokeback to the Future trailer.
I couldn't figure out whether to laugh or vomit. Ick....
Mouth to Beak CPR?? Ewwwwwww.
If it was my pet chicken, I would have been stoking the barbecue already...
Things that make you go hmmmm.....what????
Wow. Amazing. I can't even fathom what kind of prison time I would have gotten at the age of six for playing doctor with one of the neighborhood girls...
Slow White Broncos: Beware!
This is the way police chases should be done, although the downside is: What if the person being chased manages to get the dart off, and transfer it to another vehicle? Or what if they have a teflon coating on the car? Who thinks of things like that??
I told you to watch what you blog about; these weenies didn't listen!
Yeah, best place to have evidence of you breaking the law: On the internet. Nobody would ever look there! Dolts.
They would do humanity a favor by changing "man" to "men".
Somebody just needs to put a leash on this chick. According to a local DJ, who has an uncanny ability to bump into her at the strangest places, Paris actually has no bum. Just back and legs. Nothing in between. Just thought you'd like to know.
Attend your own funeral?
Okay, I give him an "A" for creativity. That might actually be something to consider. "Oh hey, I'm dying soon. Let's just have the funeral now and save all the crying and stuff..."
Could have used these 15 years ago...
Straight, to the point and disposable. Includes some of the most vital information, too.
And there you have it. Hope you have a wonderful day!
Top Gun 2: Brokeback Squadron.
Have any of you seen this yet? Better hurry before Tom Cruise's legion of attorneys quash out any suggestion of the idea that the actor is anything other than straight. I don't think I can ever watch Top Gun again without getting creeped out...
Brokeback to the Future trailer.
I couldn't figure out whether to laugh or vomit. Ick....
Mouth to Beak CPR?? Ewwwwwww.
If it was my pet chicken, I would have been stoking the barbecue already...
Things that make you go hmmmm.....what????
Wow. Amazing. I can't even fathom what kind of prison time I would have gotten at the age of six for playing doctor with one of the neighborhood girls...
Slow White Broncos: Beware!
This is the way police chases should be done, although the downside is: What if the person being chased manages to get the dart off, and transfer it to another vehicle? Or what if they have a teflon coating on the car? Who thinks of things like that??
I told you to watch what you blog about; these weenies didn't listen!
Yeah, best place to have evidence of you breaking the law: On the internet. Nobody would ever look there! Dolts.
They would do humanity a favor by changing "man" to "men".
Somebody just needs to put a leash on this chick. According to a local DJ, who has an uncanny ability to bump into her at the strangest places, Paris actually has no bum. Just back and legs. Nothing in between. Just thought you'd like to know.
Attend your own funeral?
Okay, I give him an "A" for creativity. That might actually be something to consider. "Oh hey, I'm dying soon. Let's just have the funeral now and save all the crying and stuff..."
Could have used these 15 years ago...
Straight, to the point and disposable. Includes some of the most vital information, too.
And there you have it. Hope you have a wonderful day!
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