Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Anyone who has been to a grocery store since, say, December 26th, will know that Valentine's Day is just around the corner. So, In that vein, I will present some different philosophies on love:

The Wal-Mart Philosophy (as dictated by the arrangement of their displays)

1. The flower cooler
2. The condom display rack
3. The greeting cards
4. The candy aisle.

So flowers, sex, a card and then candy... I can't tell you how many times I bought flowers for girls in college... and never progressed to the next logical step (according to Wal-Mart, anyway). But then again, Wal-Mart hadn't arrived in Utah yet...

The Mother-In-Law's Philosophy (by Ruth Smythers)

Ruth Smythers was the wife of the Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist Church in 1894. And though I don't usually subscribe to the idea of reincarnation, I make an exception in this case: My mother-in-law is the reincarnation of Ruth Smythers. I'm sure of it. Here is a teaser:

"Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness..."

You have to go here to read up on Ruth's ideas of romance. It's well worth the trip.

*** Update: I can't believe I spaced it so bad that I mixed up Van Gogh and Dali! I remember it now; Van Gogh cut off the ear, Dali paints them in strange places... Stupid, stupid me! Thanks for the comment, KOM!***

The Vincent Van Gogh Philosophy

Cut off a body part or appendage and send it to your lover to demonstrate the depths of your devotion to them.

Though Van Gogh was Dutch, some Italian families seemed to pick up on this idea, and would cut body parts and appendages off - of another person - and send it to the person's lover or loved ones, usually with a ransom note.

Improving upon this idea was Lorena Bobbitt, who came up with the idea of cutting off her lover's appendage, and sending it out the window of a speeding car, as a token of her affection for him.

These are just three of the myriads of different philosophies of Love running around the world as we know it.



Share some of your favorites with me...