Friday, January 27, 2006

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Someone is being sued for doing his job, and this time, it's not in America.

The link reads "Priest may face trial for saying Jesus Existed." Did anyone else just do a double take and say "WTF?"

Hello? McFly?! Just exactly what is the priest supposed to be saying, if he can't say that Jesus existed? Isn't that his job? His role in society?

Can you imagine what would happen to other professions if they weren't able to do their jobs?
  • Doctor: "I'm sorry, I can't operate on you. Something may go wrong, and I wouldn't want you or..uh, your surviving family suing me..."

  • Police Officer: "I'm sorry, I can't actually pull over that drunken driver; it might interfere with his civil rights, but I can drive behind him with my lights flashing!"

  • Fireman: "I can point the hose at the fire, but I can't run any water through it, because of the possibility of water damage to the building, and I wouldn't want the owner suing me. And rescuing people inside? Fuhgetaboutit. Our insurance won't cover that."

  • School Teacher: "Well, just call me a daycare provider; I can't teach reading because the phonetics people are threatening to sue me for "intentionally misspelling" words, I can't teach science because of the "evolution vs. intelligent design" debate, I can't teach social studies because the "politically correct" crowd changes what I can and can't say from week to week, I can't teach history because the revisionists are constantly changing that, I can't teach P.E. because of the possibility of violent games like dodgeball, I can't even send them to lunch, because the nutritionists are still fighting over what is appropriate to serve..."

  • Forest Ranger: "I can stand in the woods and point out the trails to you, but if a bear starts chasing you, then hey man, you're on your own."

  • FBI or CIA Agent: "Well, I used to be able to wiretap into suspected terrorist telephone calls and intercept important information, but some housewife in Poughkeepsie got all paranoid that we might be listening in on her gossip calls, and so that was the end of that. Got duct tape and plastic?"

  • Garbage Man: "Well, the surgeon general determined that there's lots of germs in garbage, and that being so close to it might be hazardous to our health, and so what we're suggesting is that you create your own, clay-lined sanitary landfill in your backyard."

  • Gourmet Chef: "Hey, uh, I'ma sorry aboutta zhe Teeveee deeners... zhe deepartment of health say eetsa eeleegal too serva you food thatsa been handled bya human hands..."

  • Ski Instructor: "I'm sorry that I can't actually tell you anything about skiing, but if you follow close behind me as we're going down the hill, and do the things I do, you'll pick it up in no time...er, probably..."

  • Real Estate Agent: "Uh yes, well, you see we don't actually sell houses, but what I can do is tell you how to find them: Drive down the road, and if you see a "For Sale" sign in front of a house, it's, uh, for sale."
The list could go on forever.

Seriously, what is this world coming to???

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