Before April of this year, I had never had a friend that I hadn't met face to face at least once. Unless you count the letters from Nigeria, where people called me "friend" and asked if I could cash a few checks for them.
As I now compile a list of Christmas cards to mail out right after Thanksgiving, I am increasingly aware that I won't be sending cards to quite a few friends, mostly because I have no idea what their real name is, nor their mailing address. And yet, that is the whole idea here. I can't think of a way that I could justify a stack of holiday cards from people my wife has never heard of. And I can just hear her saying "Who the hell is Nilo?" as she scrawls "RETURN TO SENDER" across the envelope.
I realize that the term "friend" has expanded to include people I might never meet face to face, nor know their real name, nor know where they live. These same people might never receive a birthday or holiday card from me in the mail, nor a casserole delivered when they're down with the flu (which may be a good thing; I'm not that good at casseroles).
But, in a way, the friendship I share with these people is so much more honest than some of my friendships in "real life". Unlike the many "face-to-face" friends, you quickly get to know the person inside, and superficial things like clothing, car, hairstyle, makeup, house, etc. just don't matter.
Some people enjoy that degree of honesty in their lives with everyone they meet. I envy them for that. I rather think that I would shock the hell out of people if they knew I had an identity outside of ________'s husband, or ________'s dad, or dumb coworker, or... you get the picture.
Anonymity is an easy price to pay for the kind of friends I've found.
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