Oops! I Did It Again...

...Obviously.

It seems as though Britney Spears is again "in the family way".

Disgusting, really... She can barely take care of child one, and now has "Emergency Backup K-FED #2" on the way. And what kind of name is "K-FED", anyway? It reminds me of:

• A now-defunct record company (K-TEL)
• The Chrysler Car company (K-CAR)
• Dog food (ALPO)...(?)

K-FED is living, inspirational proof that anybody can get into Britney's pants rise to the top like a floatie in the sceptic tank, er, rise to heights that defy expectations...

I can't seem to say anything nice about them this morning... Man, I am gonna miss being able to be snarky, and having an audience of at least one and a half people to listen to me...

My Luck, Again...

How is it that birds always seem to know when you've washed your car? Is it wrong of me to hope that the Lexus from the car wash yesterday has met with a similar fate? A flock of incontinent seagulls, perhaps?

Numerology

I followed a link to a numerology site yesterday for a free reading. They take your full name and birthdate, and then send you back a description of your character traits within about twenty minutes. It was uncanny how many things they nailed right on the nose. Very uncanny.

Try It: www.123numerology.com

I thought I had more than that for today... but I don't. Have a spectacular weekend!!

Blah Blah...Blah-Blah-Blah...

Just your garden variety of odds & ends...

Today's Cryptoquote:

HB2M... HB2M... HB2.. Meeeeeeee HB2M!

Today's UNCryptoquote:

"Those are years under my belt? I thought they were inches and pounds..."

And Yet Another Example Of My Wonderful Luck:

I decided I'd run my car through the carwash down at the gas station this morning on my way to work. I had a free coupon, and the Blue Mouse was looking rather dirty. I pull up to the carwash entrance, and wouldn't you know it? The Lexus that had just barely pulled in had bought the Super-Duper-Ultra-Deluxe wash that takes about 15 minutes. I couldn't believe it! I halfway expected six guys to jump out of hidden compartments in the carwash and start hand-waxing their car down. I think mine took all of thirty seconds. I told myself I was economizing on water that way...

The Elephant In The Room

Many times throughout the course of this blog, I've ranted about things that are happening in the world that the media just chooses not to cover... and instead, we are bombarded about useless, trivial crap while our world is sinking further and further into... Oh hey, is that the Killers? Oh, I LOVE this song! Yeah!

And there you have it folks, I have A.D.D. ...... And dyslexia. *sigh*

Funeral Plans

I've been working on archiving my posts (starting at the very beginning) into pdf format. Once they're archived, I'll remove them from my site. You'll be able to tell that the end (of my blog, anyway) is near if there aren't any entries left.

Evening Plans

Any of you have any suggestions as to what to have for a birthday dinner?

Funeral Planning

I like the blue-suede lined casket in the background Must be the "Elvis" model.



I've thought long and hard about this. As much as I have enjoyed blogging, and have immensely enjoyed the friends I have made through my blog, it will soon be time to pull the plug on it.

I think I really put a finger on it the first time the other night when I told a friend "I've been heading in a direction that life didn't want me to go, and now it's yanking back on my leash... hard."

I really need to follow my feelings on this one. The thought of keeping the blog running just adds to the overwhelmingly huge pile of things that I need to get done, whereas closing it down and giving it a decent burial actually gives me a feeling of relief.

I don't really have a date picked out yet... It could be anywhere between now and the end of the summer. When I started, I set goals of

• Making friends
• Posting at least 200 posts
• Getting at least 10,000 hits on the Stat-Counter.

I've accomplished all three, and feel very content with that.

This death won't come completely unannounced... I'll give you fair warning.

More details to follow...

If I Had A Billion Dollars

A BNL Song comes of age...

As poor Dr. Evil found out, "One Meel-yun Dollars" just doesn't go as far as it used to. So, adjusting for inflation, societal excess, and several other nameless but undoubtedly important factors, I give you the billion dollar version: (And yes, I know that it doesn't really rhyme, but when you have a billion dollars you really don't give a rat's ass)

If I Had A Billion Dollars

If I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd build me a house - Like a huge chateau or something
And if I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
I'd build a bowling alley in my bathroom - y'know, just because I can
And if I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you a Maserati - or maybe a fleet of stretch Hummers
And if I had a billion dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a billion dollars
I'd build a golf course in our backyard
If I had a billion dollars
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had a billion dollars
Maybe we could put like a little tiny lake in there somewhere
You know, we could stock it with swordfish, and alligators and pirhanna, and Shamu! Yes, Shamu... and he could jump out of the water and catch the golf ball in mid-air, and.. and then do a somersault back in the lake...

If I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you a tropical island - with a T-Rex and some raptors
And if I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you a congressman - yep, like Randy "Duke" Cunningham
And if I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you Mozart's skull - it's on display somewhere in a museum
And if I had a billion dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a billion dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a billion dollars
We'd build another one just outside our front door
If I had a billion dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
So we wouldn't... We'd eat "The ultimate PBJ" from Disneyland, and every time we wanted one, we'd fly there in a really cool helicopter, and..and.. land right in front of Space Mountain... yeah!

If I had a billion dollars - If I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you a chocolate factory - but not with real oompah-loompah's, that's cruel
And if I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you a dog - but not a tiny one like Paris Hilton's
If I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you a case of Twinkies - haven't you always wanted a Twinkie?
If I had a billion dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a billion dollars, if I had a billion dollars
If I had a billion dollars, if I had a billion dollars
If I had a billion dollars, I'd be targeted by the IRS.

---

Seriously, If I had a billion dollars...

• I'd sponsor like a thousand kids in third world countries
• Quit Job. Screw the two week notice. Go out to lunch. A really good lunch. Go to a movie (Do you know how long it has been since I've seen a movie in a theater?) Hire a nanny with impeccable credentials, book a cruise with my wife to the Mexican Riviera. Buy her a brand-new minivan on the way home... fully loaded.
• Go furniture shopping... for some real good furniture. The kind that costs more money than I make in two months. Realize that furniture will not fit in our present house. Buy a new house. Spend two hours shopping in the sock emporium. (Why? Because I've never shopped for socks. Honest.) Have nothing but large, gooey pecan rolls for lunch. Buy a wave-runner.
• Buy a Nikon D-70 and D-200, along with a new laptop computer. Rent a convertible, turbocharged car and drive to Santa Fe, New Mexico. Just because.
• Visit art museums... buy some stuff for the new house. Take some cool pictures. Go to whatever concert is playing in town that night. Eat dinner at the Tres Hermanos just outside of town. Mmmmm... heavenly!
• Fly to Louisville, KY during Derby Days
• Drive through New England during the fall foliage season
• Go to Disneyworld for a few weeks
• Learn to fly a helicopter and a plane
• Visit the Big Apple
• Buy a ranch in Montana
• Watch a Space Shuttle Launch from Cape Canaveral
• See Hong Kong...

Give me more suggestions on where to go, and what to see!

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall...

Have you ever looked in the mirror, seeing this:



But when you see a picture of yourself, it looks more like this?



They say "The camera adds 10lbs", but I think the camera is pretty selective as to where it puts those pounds.

I guess it depends also on how many cameras are pointed at you, too.

That's today's wierd thought anyway. Hope you all have a marvelous weekend...

Neopolitan 2

Another combination post...

Guardian Angels, pt 2

Absolutely amazing. I thought I had it good, spinning out of control on a crowded freeway, and barely hitting one car. These women were involved in an accident where their car was crushed between two semi trucks... and not only did they live to tell about it, but escaped with only some minor cuts and bruises. Abso-frickin-lutely amazing...

Where is your ideal vacation spot?

This is a two part question, folks:

• Where is you favorite vacation spot that you have been to?
• Where is your favorite vacation spot that you would like to go to (but haven't yet)?

What to Ask For?

I'm birthday shopping on my breaks. Next week, people will gather at my house, eat cake and ice cream and acknowledge that I have, indeed, aged another year. Inevitably there will be cards, some with money and some not. Some people are chomping at the bit, asking what I'd like for a gift... so... I'm making up a list that I can give to my wife, who can then pass it on to friends and family...

*sigh*

I'm one who doesn't like to shop, unless it has to do with computers or home improvement. So far, I'm thinking of a book or two, maybe a DVD... cash... I like cash... One of those "collect all of the quarters from the 50 states" thingys, that way I'll know whether or not to save a quarter or spend it. And a motorcycle. Do you think a motorcycle would be too much to ask for?

Conversations

My morning in a nutshell

With The Boss

Me: So how was your vacation to Sea World?
Boss: Oh, it was wonderful! The grandkids really had a great time...
Me: Great! Isn't that where one of our engineers went this week?
Boss: Uh, yeah...
Me: Mmmmm... So, does Shamu ever jump out of the water and swallow anyone whole?

Paying the ticket (from the accident two weeks ago)

Cop: Put all of your metal objects into this tray
Me: Wow, this is just like the airport...
Cop: Remove your belt please...
Me: Oh, okay...
Cop: Your fly's down
Me: Aw hell... (zipping up fly)
Cop: Have any coin change?
Me: About a pocket full
Cop: Empty it here...

(Metal detector machine goes off)

Cop: Stand over here, lift your pantlegs up so we can see the tops of your shoes
Me: Do I have to take my dental fillings out?
Cop: Stretch one arm out, then slowly bring your fingertip back and touch your nose...
Me: Whaaa...?
Cop: What is the average annual rainfall for the Amazon Basin?
Me: Ummm....
Cop: Spell "Poseidon" in original greek letters...
Me: Uhh, "Pi"..."Omicron"...
Cop: BACKWARDS!
Me: Oh.....
Cop: Okay, there's just one more test (snapping a latex glove on)
Me: Uh-oh...

---

My fine was $82.00 Although I can think of plenty of other things that I would like to have spent that on, I am still extremely grateful that I squeaked out of that whole situation intact, and with only a scratch on the bumper. If 82 clams was the price for that blessing, it was handed over without a single regret.

Driving to work after paying the fine, I was treated to an account of radio host Jimmy Chunga chasing "Twinkie the Kid" down the road. Being that Chunga is about six-foot five inches, he has often dressed in mascot costumes for different schools and companies.

One day, while driving down North Temple street in Salt Lake, he spies "Twinkie the Kid" standing out in front of the Wonder Bread store, waving to the passers-by. Something inside of him snapped, he pulled his car over, jumped out and started racing toward Twinkie.

Fortunately, our large yellow spongecake becomes wise to what's happening, and takes off at top speed down the sidewalk. The footchase lasts for a few minutes, and Twinkie gets away, but not without losing his foam rubber cowboy hat.

"All I wanted to do was just tackle him", says Chunga. "Then I would have gotten back into my car and driven away..."

A short time later, Chunga was seen pommeling "Charlie the Chocolate-Chip Pancake" in front of IHOP...

This man is my hero. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe...

NeoPolitan

Like the ice cream, where you buy one box, yet get three flavors? One post here, three separate directions...

Flavor 1: The Blog

Within the next month or so, I'm going to drop the "No Paige Hemmis Pics Here" name from the blog entirely. It no longer shows up on the masthead, and why use her name? Anytime she makes an appearance on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, I am immediately flooded by people looking for naked pictures of her. It's not really the kind of traffic I look for...

But wait, there's more?

I am toying with the idea of dropping the name Nilo as well. Not sure yet if I will, But I am definitely entertaining the notion...

Flavor 2: Add-on Accesories

What is the strangest selling point you have ever seen for a house or a car? Examples:

• A 2-story garage with a fully functioning hydraulic lift for car repairs...
• Half-sized basketball court in basement
• Secret passageway behind bookcase in library...
• Car has three speeds in reverse...

Flavor 3: What To Be?

There is a possibility that I may not be able to go to chiropractic school, and I do NOT want to continue in my present career. Seeing much of my family this past weekend, I'm impressed by some of the directions they've taken in life:

• Stepbrother: Wine broker in San Francisco, CA
• Half-Brother: Part Owner in a snowboard company that is starting to really turn some heads
• Brother-in-law: Up and coming film producer (does amazing work).
• Half-Sister: Ski lift operator
• Stepsister: Manages high-brow beauty salon & boutique.

...and the list goes on. The biggest difference between these sibs and myself is: None of them have any kids.

Let it be said that I will never, ever regret having my kids... They add a dimension to life that enriches you, and makes you so much more a person than you could ever be otherwise.

But I realize that I have tied myself down to my present location and jobs because of my need to provide for them. Presently, I work in a windowless office, doing work that will rarely, if ever, be appreciated. I want to change that.

I love working with people, seeing different situations and (if possible) different scenery each day, and I love being able to solve problems.

I am asking for suggestions for an alternative career if Chiropractic school doesn't work out. Feel free to be serious, or keep it light... It doesn't matter. I've come to reflect on the fact that life is TOO. DAMN. SHORT. to be miserable in work or other situations.

The floor is now yours...

Observances...

I could literally blog for the next ten years on the stuff that goes through my mind while I'm driving to work. But when I sit down to start writing... nothing. Flatline brain scan. And then, inevitably, some engineer (who considers themself the earth's rotational axis) will come barging into my office, roaring about deadlines to be met and how, by damn, their work is so very much more important than anything that I had going.

Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything...

Pensée Une - Somewhere, in an effort to clear the title (No Paige Hemmis Pics Here) off at the top of my blog, I've really farked things up for Firefox users... The header has a buffer, and is offset by what, about 180 pixels or so? It shows up on IE just fine... Maybe some of you with Safari, Opera, Netscape or others can let me know if it's screwed up in those formats as well...

Pensée Deux - Another Nilo movie review: Fun With Dick And Jane (1 1/2 Thumbs Up)

I have mixed feelings on this one... This one's another remake, the first one having come out in the mid-70's. When VCR's first came out, I remember my parents renting "Fun With Dick And Jane", and I immediately fell in love with it. Although it's been a good 25 years since I've seen it, and I don't remember a whole hell of a lot of it, it still rates as a good show in my book.

The remake lacks a few elements that the original had, but throws a couple of creative new ones in there. The first one had an antagonistic unemployment agent that would inevitably discover Dick making a little money under the table, while the remake lacks this character. The remake, however, has the full-bodied acting talents of Jim Carrey and Téa Leoni, and some off-the-wall humorous situations that you just didn't have in the 70's (the dog's shock collar had me laughing for three minutes straight the first time they showed it).

Pensée Trois - Anybody else here tired of the crass commercialization of holidays? I walk into Wal-Mart this morning to get some chips on my way to work, and there are two entire aisles whose tops are lined with these Easter baskets that look like they're three feet tall, have a basketball or soccerball in them, along with a bunch of sugary crap in them... Do people even remember the reason for Easter er, "Spring Holiday"? Strange how any holiday or festival that has anything to do with Christ is being renamed and refocused to something completely commercial... something that draws attention away from its original purpose.

Pensée Quatre - Child Abusers should get the chair (or so says a local DJ). You know what? After listening to what he had to say, I couldn't help but agree with him. Now I know that most kids can drive us to the point where they get a good, hard spank, or even sometimes a slap... I don't necessarily consider this abuse as such. What I consider abuse is hitting, beating, whipping and the such. Essentially, anything that Liza Minelli would do to her husband. And - to be sure - anything of a sexual nature. Anything that would destroy a child's innocence or physically / emotionally scar them throughout their life.

Does the death penalty sound a little harsh? Maybe. But a few heavy-duty child abusers go to the chair or the gas chamber, and all of a sudden you'll have people thinking "maybe beating my child with a stick isn't such a good idea." The whole concept of deterrence is lost on American society as a whole. Examples:

• Deterrent for Iraqi or Afghani "insurgents" being caught by the U.S.: All expense paid vacation to American resort "Gitmo", where you have gourmet food that satisfies your religious dietary requirements, climate control, a copy of your scriptures, an arrow painted on the floor telling you which way to face when you say your daily prayers...
• Deterrent for raping a child repeatedly over a four year period: Sixty days in jail, followed by rehabilitation and counseling.
• Deterrent for embezzling millions of dollars from your company: An all-expense paid vacation to "Club Fed"
• Deterrent for being the Taliban spokeperson: Admission into the prestigious Yale University.
• Deterrence for striking a Capitol police officer as you pass through a security checkpoint with no credentials: Who knows? Maybe a good "racial profiling" lawsuit... certainly lots of free publicity.
• Deterrent for capturing American citizens in Iraq, holding them hostage or beheading them in front of the camera: All the free publicity the American media can muster.

Anyone else see a pattern here?

Lee Ann had an excellent post on the sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, who does practice deterrence...

Pensée Cinq - Anyone else here just a little uncomfortable that Iran has a) finally enriched uranium and b) that their president has declared that Israel will finally be annihilated? It's one thing to put a civil face on in public and rant insanely in private, but this guy just doesn't give a rat's ass...

Pensée Six - What do you guys think of the alarming proliferation of "Check cashing" places, and other institutions and programs that prey on people's bad credit / lack of credit? This has been on my mind lately, as one of these places has opened up pretty close to where I work. And the traffic that it attracts...

That's all for this morning. If anyone has any suggestions about my blog header problem in Firefox, please e-mail me.

Thank You, and have a happy Spring Holiday Easter, everyone!

Hollywierd parts the Red Sea...

...or "Bad-Ass Moses".

Did anyone catch the remake of "The Ten Commandments"on ABC-TV over the past two nights? I did. I'm regretting the time that I spent planted in front of the TV. I could have been doing far more productive things, like doing dishes, building an armoire, making a sandwich, having naughty-bad fun with the wife, etc., etc., etc. So, whether you want it or not, you're getting the "Movie According To Nilo" show today. My apologies to you if you really dug the show...

The Ten Commandments - Two Thumbs Down.

Have you ever fallen victim to a movie that looked pretty good on the commercial, and then you go see it, only to discover that the only 90 seconds of decent footage in the entire film was the commercial?

This is pretty much the case. I enjoyed the scene where Pharoah asks Moses why he should grant freedom to the slaves, and Moses boldly replies "Because God commands it!" I was thinking the whole movie might be of that same caliber. Wrongo.

The movie starts out with an epileptic crazy man prophet sort of fellow that is summoned to interpret a rather disturbing dream of the old Pharoah. He whines like he really, really needs to go to the bathroom, gives his prophetic warning concerning a slave child that will be raised as a prince of Egypt, and then falls over and looks like he's getting jiggy wit'da floor.

In the Cecil B. DeMille version (hereafter referred to as the "CBD" version), Moses doesn't find out about his heritage until he's a grown man (if my memory serves me right). In the stupid-ass version (hereafter referred to as the "SA" version), he is taken as a young child to the ghetto, and introduced to his family. (Hey Moses, these scraggly, stinky people with no fashion sense are your birth family! Don't worry though, you can still live in the palace...)

In the CBD version, Moses and Ramses are raised as brothers. In the SA version, Moses is raised with some Egyptian kid named "Menerith", who later grows up to serve Ramses in his royal court. Menerith has no problem with the fact that Moses comes from slave stock, and years later, brings his son to the ghetto to meet the bedraggled prophet. Son, this is a great man... Ah Menerith, don't you have a plane to catch? Flight 813, maybe?

This version of the Ten Commandments is also infatuated with blood, gore and mindless killing, perpetuating some idiotic notion that the entire pre-renaissance world was just a bloodbath with a few cool buildings, some gnarly costumes here and there, and extremely bad hygiene. Fact shows that many highly civilized peoples have populated the earth in millenia past.

Perhaps the most offensive thing about the show (other than the gross inaccuracies, and very liberal usage of "creative license") was the way they portrayed the man Moses. He continually looked as though he either had a migraine or was constipated. When God "whispered", Moses clutched his head as though the Almighty was standing next to him screaming into a megaphone. Also, the lack of confidence in God, himself and his destiny was another brain-child of Hollywood, who - in the name of "passion" - cuts great and inspirational figures down to the lowest possible denominator, and gives us reason to not only be uninspired, but rather comfortable in our complacency.

Think about it: Moses was educated in the royal courts of Egypt. According to the Bible, The Lord "spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend" (Exodus 33:11), and if you read through chapters 3 and 4 of Exodus, the Lord spells things out rather succinctly to Moses, and how events are going to unfold. Contrast this to the SA version, where Moses can't figure out his own identity, let alone God's. Our migraine suffering bedraggled prophet keeps trying to second guess himself and God, wondering what's going to happen next. I'd wager that to be instructed by the Creator of the universe would purge you of any doubt or misgiving... but hey, that's just me.

Again, Yay Charlton Heston, Boo to the new show.

And Yet Another Stolen Meme...

This one I shamelessly stole from Cinders. I like it because it's just straight "Yes or No" answers... no room for explanation, but plenty for the imagination...

The Rules:
1. You can only say YES or NO!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!

Taken a picture naked? : YES
Made out with a member of the same sex? : NO
Danced in front of your mirror? : NO
Told a lie? : YES
Gotten in a car with people you just met?: YES
Been in a fist fight? : Yes
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? : YES
Been arrested? : NO
Left your house without telling your parents? : YES
Ditched school to do something more fun? : YES
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? : YES
Seen someone die? : NO
Kissed a picture? : YES
Slept in until 3? : YES
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? : YES
Played dress up? : YES
Fallen asleep at work/school? : YES
Felt an earthquake? : YES
Touched a snake? : YES
Ran a red light? : YES
Had detention? : YES
Been in a car accident? : YES
Pole danced? : NO
Been lost? : YES
Sang karaoke? : NO
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? : YES
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? : YES
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? : YES
Kissed in the rain? : YES
Sang in the shower? : YES
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? : NO
Ever gone to school partially naked? : NO
Sat on a roof top? : YES
Played chicken? : NO
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : NO
Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? : YES
Broken a bone? : NO
Mooned/flashed someone? : YES
Forgotten someone's name? : YES
Slept naked? : YES
Blacked out from drinking? : YES
Played a prank on someone? : YES
Felt like killing someone? : YES
Made a parent cry? : YES
Cried over someone? : YES
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? : NO
Had/Have a dog? : YES
Been in a band? : NO
Drank 25 sodas in a day? : NO
Shot a gun? : YES

Again, this is yours for the taking if you want it...

Overdue Meme...

Tagged by Lee Ann... Sorry it's taken me so long...

Accent - Utahn, I think. Although I can pull a spanking good British accent, or a damn good red-neck accent if I want.

Booze of choice - Gave up the brew 17 years ago. It's Dr. Pepper or Coke nowadays, usually the "unleaded" variety.

Chore I hate - Dishes

Dog or cat - Dog. She's dumb, but likeable

Essential electronics - Computer... ..?

Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s) – Old Spice, Old Spice Musk, Oleg Cassini...

Gold or Silver? – Gold

Hometown - Park City, Utah (lived there the longest, anyway)

Insomnia? – Never

Job Title – CAD Designer

Kids? - Four of them... Love 'em more than life.

Living Arrangement - All of us... under one roof.

Most admired trait - Understanding

Number of Sexual Partners - Only my wife.

Overnight Hospital Stays - Not yet

Phobia - I've probably got a few, but I can't think of any right now...

Quote - "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details." - Albert Einstein

Religion - Yes

Siblings - One brother, one sister, lots of steps and halves in there too (10 sibs total)

Time I wake up - 6:00 am

Unusual talent/skill - Escaping death on the highway

Vegetable I refuse to eat - ? Okra, maybe? I dunno.

Worst habit - Not reading my wife's mind

X-rays - Dental only.

Yummy foods I make - Chicken Salad Croissants, Steak & Cheese in a baguette, Steak, Grilled Turkey & Bacon subs, Bacon Cheeseburgers...

Zodiac sign - Taurus

At this point, I'm supposed to tag 5 of you to pick this up. The floor is open to anyone who wants to run with it... I'm terrible at choosing.

Guardian Angels Working Overtime

I must be a magnet for near-death experiences. Some of you may remember the day my little car started fishtailing on the icy interstate freeway. Today's incident made that day feel like a picnic in the park.

I was driving down the interstate freeway again, on my way to work this morning. The freeway had a certain amount of compacted slush and ice on it from a snowstorm that had been dumping on us for about 4 hours or so.

So I was zipping along in the middle of three lanes, keeping even pace with the traffic around me, when suddenly, nearly every brake light in front of me went on. I slammed on the brakes, but had hit a patch of slush, and was sliding (quite quickly) toward the car in front of me.

Somehow, I knew that the "fast" lane to my left was empty, and I swerved to the left to miss him, at which time the car went into a wicked fishtail. At that moment, my car did a graceful pirouette back into the middle lane, narrowly avoiding (we're talking mere inches, folks) about six different vehicles (including a large semi-truck) and "kissing" the front fender of the car that I had initially swerved to avoid hitting.

When my car started spinning out of control, there was a very distinct feeling of "My goose is cooked". It was the knowledge that I was not going to come out of this situation in good shape, if at all. Yet, in defiance to the laws of physics, my little car spun around on a crowded interstate freeway, and managed only to come into contact with one other vehicle... and barely, at that.

The Blue Mouse sits in my garage tonight, proudly displaying her battle scar: A three inch scrape on the front bumper. How did the other car fare? About as well. Damage is hardly noticeable.

I'm really at a loss to explain why I wasn't killed, or at least injured on the route today. If you had only seen the crazy way my car was spinning around in between all of those other vehicles, you'd understand.

I was sure to thank God for saving my neck, and letting me live a little longer; letting me love and enjoy my family and friends just a little longer...

Thank You

Thank you for your prayers, well-wishes and kind thoughts throughout the week. Grandma slipped quietly away Wednesday evening.

---

Monday afternoon, the decision was made to keep Grandma on life support. She was still semi-conscious and indicated she didn't want to go yet.

Grandma's nurse had come in earlier in the afternoon, recommending some good hospice programs, and so while my wife's mother made phone calls to check on insurance coverage, I asked the doctors some pretty direct questions...

It was determined that moving Grandma to hospice care would deprive her of the breathing apparatus that was currently keeping her alive; that hospice was really only going to make her comfortable before she died. Because her single best chance for survival depended on a large, pimped-out CPAP machine, it was determined that Grandma would stay a little longer in the hospital. Watching her poor, frail body fight just to breathe, I didn't hold out much hope that she'd be with us much longer...

By Wednesday evening, Grandma slipped into a coma. Her brother from Arizona was able to make it to the hospital on time and say his goodbyes. By Thursday, her body had no strength left and began shutting down. She was gone by dinner time.

I think it was hardest for our oldest two children. They'd never experienced the death of someone close to them before. They've lost a great-grandmother, and have two more great-grandparents who are in their 80's, and who are extremely close to our kids. I do not look forward to the day that either of them passes...

Again, thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and kind words this week; they have been much appreciated.

Nilo

What My Eyes Have Seen...

***Update***

We have a grandma in the hospital that has taken a turn for the worse. They're going to be taking her off of life support in the next few hours, and so... no post today. Sorry.

***Note***

I did promise you a post or two to read on Monday morning.

My bad.

I hadn't counted on my wife coming down with the same plague I had for an entire week. Between the time that I got home Friday night until this moment, there has seriously not been a free minute to call my own.

Well, there was actually a spot of free time this evening, but that was spent in front of the TV, watching "Memoirs of a Geisha." Excellent film, in my opinion; time well spent.

My 6-yr old has the same sickness too, and so I take care of her, while juggling the baby and the 2-yr old while my wife tries to sleep some of this off. All of this while managing to fix dinner, and bathe all four of my kids.

SAHM's: My hat is off to you. Several times over. I can't see myself suriving a career like that, and those of you who run a household have my sincere admiration.

Look for a new post between 12:00 & 2:00 MDT on Monday... I'm heading to bed...