Conversations

My morning in a nutshell

With The Boss

Me: So how was your vacation to Sea World?
Boss: Oh, it was wonderful! The grandkids really had a great time...
Me: Great! Isn't that where one of our engineers went this week?
Boss: Uh, yeah...
Me: Mmmmm... So, does Shamu ever jump out of the water and swallow anyone whole?

Paying the ticket (from the accident two weeks ago)

Cop: Put all of your metal objects into this tray
Me: Wow, this is just like the airport...
Cop: Remove your belt please...
Me: Oh, okay...
Cop: Your fly's down
Me: Aw hell... (zipping up fly)
Cop: Have any coin change?
Me: About a pocket full
Cop: Empty it here...

(Metal detector machine goes off)

Cop: Stand over here, lift your pantlegs up so we can see the tops of your shoes
Me: Do I have to take my dental fillings out?
Cop: Stretch one arm out, then slowly bring your fingertip back and touch your nose...
Me: Whaaa...?
Cop: What is the average annual rainfall for the Amazon Basin?
Me: Ummm....
Cop: Spell "Poseidon" in original greek letters...
Me: Uhh, "Pi"..."Omicron"...
Cop: BACKWARDS!
Me: Oh.....
Cop: Okay, there's just one more test (snapping a latex glove on)
Me: Uh-oh...

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My fine was $82.00 Although I can think of plenty of other things that I would like to have spent that on, I am still extremely grateful that I squeaked out of that whole situation intact, and with only a scratch on the bumper. If 82 clams was the price for that blessing, it was handed over without a single regret.

Driving to work after paying the fine, I was treated to an account of radio host Jimmy Chunga chasing "Twinkie the Kid" down the road. Being that Chunga is about six-foot five inches, he has often dressed in mascot costumes for different schools and companies.

One day, while driving down North Temple street in Salt Lake, he spies "Twinkie the Kid" standing out in front of the Wonder Bread store, waving to the passers-by. Something inside of him snapped, he pulled his car over, jumped out and started racing toward Twinkie.

Fortunately, our large yellow spongecake becomes wise to what's happening, and takes off at top speed down the sidewalk. The footchase lasts for a few minutes, and Twinkie gets away, but not without losing his foam rubber cowboy hat.

"All I wanted to do was just tackle him", says Chunga. "Then I would have gotten back into my car and driven away..."

A short time later, Chunga was seen pommeling "Charlie the Chocolate-Chip Pancake" in front of IHOP...

This man is my hero. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe...