Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Hell Hath No Fury Like...

...me on the road, surrounded by Utah drivers. It rates right up there with a woman scorned, believe me.

I grew up (teenage years) in a small town named Park City, Utah. When I lived there, it was a small, dusty, boring town where nothing happened outside of ski season. Summers were damn boring. We headed to Salt Lake to find fun, and along the highway from Park City, there were small prairie dogs (we call 'em potguts) that would dart out across the road, just as cars would come along. I suppose it was their low-tech way of playing "chicken". I don't ever recall the potgut winning an encounter with a car.

Anyhoo, the potgut would wait by the side of the road and watch you cruising toward it at a breakneck 60mph, then at the last second, it would run out...right in front of you, and....Splat!

This is very much like a typical Utah driver. They watch you speed along the road, and just as you are almost upon them, they turn out right in front of you, and pretend they don't notice you.

Utah drivers can also be identified most easily by their lack of courtesy, not knowing what the hell a turn signal is, their need to talk on the cell phone while driving 20mph slower than the speed limit, and also their damned self-righteous attitude about the fast lane ("I'm going the speed limit; I have just as much right to drive in this lane as...."splat!).

Really, I'm a pretty decent guy. Except when I drive. In the company of idiots. Then all inhibition is thrown to the wind, and I shout words that would make a telephone repairman blush.

But other than that, I'm okay.

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