The Big 1-5-1

So much for the 150th post!

As I look back over eight and a half months of blogging, I have to admit I've really enjoyed it. Each of you is what truly puts the icing on the cake, though. A finer group of friends I couldn't ask for.

I wish I could write more today, but demands on my time dictate otherwise.

This new look is just temporary, but there will be a few changes over the next couple of weeks, starting with the blogroll. Some need to be added, some need to be taken off, I need a different pic for the masthead, etc.

There will be at least one more post before Christmas!

Nose + Grindstone = My Day

Yes, it's a very work-intensive day from this point on. I just put ten Christmas cards in the mail, and I'm delivering another four during lunch.

And that should just about cover it.

Seeing that this is actually my 150th Post, I'm going to remove this worthless couple of paragraphs later, and post something worthwhile and memorable.

Pft.

BWAHAhahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAhahahaha

Right.

What piles up, must come down...

The picture below is a homonym.



Many of you know that the name of this truck is synonymous with a thundering wall of snow and ice roaring down the mountainside, destroying everything in its path.

Which is what my week looks like.

I have an impossible amount of things to accomplish in the next few days, and just zero time to do it in. I feel like I'm chronologically bankrupt. Yet, as irresponsible as it may seem, you know I'm going to take a little bit of time out of the time I don't really have to post.

Because you guys are really my only link to sanity right now. Can anyone relate to this?

Slow and Somber

It's a slow and quiet Friday, even though most of the people are in the office today. I have the Christmas piano music playing on the computer right now, keeping things a bit mellow and relaxed. Hope I don't drift off to sleep here...

Our office manager received some bad news yesterday. One of her son's best friends is serving in the military in Iraq, and collapsed the other day of a massive stroke. He was transported to the military hospital in Germany, and the military sent for his wife and parents to fly over to be with him. Today, the family received news: "Don't come. There is no brain activity." Arrangements are now being made for this man's brother (currently serving in the military in Afghanistan) to fly to Germany to disconnect the life support machines.

This man was only 30, and apparently he leaves a wife and two children behind. Just Sunday, he was talking to his son on the telephone when his son said "Dad, you need to come home soon. I'm getting tired of being the man of the house!" How heart-wrenching to think that though his dad will be home within days, it certainly won't be as he had imagined. The wife had just barely won a difficult battle with cancer earlier this year. Some people call her recovery miraculous, and then to have this happen. Just being a fly on the wall in this whole thing, it weighs on me.

When I was 12, I lost a grandmother to heart failure. Later that year, I lost all semblance of a normal life as my parents began divorce proceedings that would last for nine months and then spark ten years of court battles. So not only did my grandmother leave me, but in essence, so did both of my parents as they turned their attention to new partners.

I swore up and down that when I had a family of my own, I would never leave them. I could never let my beautiful children go through the hell that I had lived through. But how do you fight against an enemy like terminal illness, or a stroke? Or an accident?

My heart goes out to this family. I can't really say that the timing of this death is ironic or tragic, but rather interesting. In a season where those of us who are still politically incorrect celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, it is notable that He is the lone historic figure that overcomes death and is resurrected, giving man hope for life past the grave.

My Christmas wish is that none of my friends or family (or any of you that read this blog) will have to experience such a loss this year. Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Christmas Spec Sheet

Twist your brain a little and enter the world of engineering... .

Do words fail you? No problem. We communicate in binary code around here...



Picture is about 1.13 MB - just to let you know.

Holiday Recipes

I know, I know... this sounds a lot like that "comfort foods" post I did just a little while ago. But it's a bit different. I would like you to submit your favorite recipes that you make around the holidays. Why? Because I'm hungry, and I want to hear about food right now.

Our administrative assistant just handed me the recipe to her delicious caramels. These are soooooo good that yours truly will gladly throw his blood-sugar levels out of whack to have a few of these.

She probably wouldn't be too thrilled that I'm now broadcasting this all over Blogland, but hey, I figure I ought to be the first to chip in:

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CARAMELS

2 C Sugar
1 1/2 C Dark Karo Syrup
2 C Whipping Cream
1 C Margarine (2 cubes)
1 Tsp Vanilla

Stir and bring to boil all ingredients except for the Vanilla and 1 C of the Whipping Cream. Add remaining cream to mixture. Boil to Soft Ball - Firm stage (Those with candy thermometers will know what I'm talking about).

Remove from heat, add 1 Tsp Vanilla and nuts (optional). Pour into a lightly greased pan (use Pam). Let cool, then cut and wrap with wax paper.

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She goes on to suggest putting the caramels outside (if you live in a cold climate) to cool off. Takes about an hour in our Utah winter weather. Slightly longer in a refrigerator.

I will post a few more recipes later on when I get home. Until then, let's hear what you like to eat for the holidays! And don't limit it to sweets, either. Get some meat and cheese stuff. Any stuff, actually.

The floor is now yours...

Just a little Somethin' Somethin'

This is just a handful of fun posts from other people's sites that have made me laugh:

• Jerk's story about his friend Joel stuck in a carwash.
  
  
• Funniest account of a birth I have heard in a long time!
  
  
• Inventions most parents would love to see!
  
  
• A GREAT post by Kristy about "Breezy Elegance".
  
  
• Kristy's Friend who was almost murdered by a llama.
  
  
• Admit it, we've all wanted to do this at one time or another!
  
  
• And you thought the Patriot Act was bad? Check this guy out.
  
  
• The ruthless destruction of the Borg in Star Trek.

And a sure fire way to destroy your life: The Monster Game. Thanks for getting me hooked, Kim.

The Hallucinogenic Value of Cheese

I like squeaky cheese. A lot, actually. And since it is one of the few things that I really like on my "anti-hypoglycemia" diet, I tend to nibble on it from time to time. Especially before bedtime. Which is where the, uh, problem starts.

Adultery isn't my thing, really. So when I start having adulterous dreams at night after my cheesy snack, I have to wonder:

What are they putting into that stuff?

The worst part about it is: It never occurs to me in my dream that I'm married and have kids, so to some degree, I actually enjoy the flirting, making out, etc., etc. in the dream until I wake up.

Then I realize what I dreamed, how much I enjoyed it, and that yes - in fact - I am married with kids! The guilt usually deflates any enjoyment from that point forward.

I'm sure you all really wanted to hear about my sub-conscious sex life there...

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Last Saturday marked our one-year anniversary of having a dog. This is not only a milestone for us, but for the dog as well. One whole year without us resorting to killing her or turning her over to the pound.

Last night, as we were watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, the dog started playing the game known as "The Leaning Tower of Maggie" In which she sits up on the sofa right next to me, and slowly (almost imperceptibly) tips over on top of me.

She loves to wrestle and play. Crawling on the ground (say, like when you're looking for something under the sofa) is an unspoken invitation for her to dart under your arm and begin licking your face.

She is terribly loyal, too. Since the day the neighbors moved away, and we went over to their vacant house and picked her up, she has known where her home is. There have been times that the wind has blown the back gate open, and she'll wander out of the back yard and around to the front porch where she'll sit and wait patiently for someone to open the door.

She is very protective. If I'm chasing the kids around the house, she'll immediately place herself between me and the kids and growl at me. I'm thinking my kids are pretty safe.

She has better hearing than the Bionic Woman. She was once asleep in the living room (front side of our house) when she heard a cat walking through our back yard - at 3:00am! She barks, I get up and let her out, only to see her fly across the yard at 80mph, narrowly missing a terrified cat that literally jumped over our fence.

I guess she's a keeper. She's just as wierd as the rest of us.

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Friday night, while driving home, a radio commercial began asking me questions:

Do you find it difficult to concentrate sometimes?
Uh, yeah.

Do you find it difficult to complete projects that you begin?
Are you serious? Is my wife putting you up to this?

Do you change jobs every few years and are not quite sure what you'd like to do with your life?
Damn, who are you guys?

Then you are most likely suffering from A.D.D.!
Nice. Just what I wanted to hear.

I've recently figured out that I don't really want to be stuck as a CAD Designer for the rest of my life. Out of all of my jobs, I enjoyed being a DSL Techinician for Qwest Communications the most. I got to meet new people, visit new places and solve different problems every day. I was damn good at what I did, with an unusually high customer satisfaction rate.

The worst job I ever had, was working at a telemarketing firm, out-calling for American Express. After just four shifts, I seriously wanted to slit my wrists and get it all over with.

Engineering jobs fall somewhere in between.

I would actually like to go to Chiropractic school, and learn to be the same kind of doctor that my doctor is. Tremendous job satisfaction, better pay, and he is able to help just about everyone he sees.

It would sure beat sitting in a windowless office all day, using software that I beginning to loathe, ticking away my days, weeks and years until retirement. I want to be somewhere that I can make a difference. I'm not so sure that I make a difference here.

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My wife almost discovered my blog last night. She walked into the room just as I was finishing up last nights short post. I can just see it now:

Wife: What is that?
Me: What is what?
Wife: That... on the screen...
Me: Oh, um...well, it's my blog..
Wife: Your what?
Me: My.... blog...
Wife: You're a BLOGGER?!
Me: Uh...........yeah....
Wife: It HAD to be blogging! Why couldn't it have been porn? or an online affair? or something normal?!? Blogging??? I don't even know what to say...

She's probably talking to her dad today, the Great White Computer Geek, asking him how to find out what I'm doing online. I'm usually pretty careful about Blogging at home; I'll use a different browser that she's never even heard of most of the time. But eventually, she'll most likely find out. And when she does? Well... remember me mentioning something about pushing up daisies?

Gotta run and finish up a project. Happy Monday to y'all!

Late Night, Sunday Night

I have been trying, and trying, and trying to get to the keyboard this weekend. .But keeping up on a secret blog is not easy when your wife is lurking, or you're doing dishes with your toes. But I digress.

I've just been putting my blog post ideas into a notebook over the past few days, and plan on posting them tomorrow.

I do need to seriously cram on a project for a few hours, so if the post doesn't appear until mid-afternoon, don't be too surprised.

Today, after church, I was doing the dishes when I suddenly started feeling weak, my face started to go numb, and I started getting dizzy. I'm about 99% certain it was just low blood sugar, but there's always that 1% of doubt, wondering if it was a stroke on the way, or what.

So, here's a proposition to you visitors here in Nilo-land: If I don't post for a good 5 to 7 days, with no previous explanation (like going on vacation or something), you can assume that I'm pushing up daisies. Morbid, I know, but I'm not so inconsiderate as to post on a regular basis and then just bail without saying goodbye. Unless the Grim Reaper is part of the situation, that is.

And so I bid you all farewell... until sometime tomorrow. I need to go get my ugly sleep.

The Weekend Is So Close...

I can taste it. It tastes like sweet freedom. Except that I can't eat sweet things because of my hypoglycemia. Spit that weekend out! What was I thinking? Freedom? Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Imagine being chained to a house, holding a baby and a toddler in your arms, doing dishes with your feet, and turning the Comcast "On Demand" to Dora the Explorer or Spongebob every half hour. That will be my "freedom" over the next few days.

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Does anybody here remember when Wham! wasn't openly gay, but you still suspected it? It had a lot to do with that "beat puppy-dog" look that Andrew Ridgely sported most of the time.* Okay, that was random!

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Moving On...

I saw the doctor on Wednesday. In addition to a raging case of hypoglycemia, I also have chemical poisoning (probably due to an excess of soda pop consumption).

Some people have a proclivity for alcohol, some for tobacco. My addiction has always been soda pop. Don't know why, maybe it's genetic. My dad was quite the pop drinker in his day. Now he has type II diabetes. *sigh* Guess it's time to ween myself from soda.

Honestly, quel horreur to have 10lbs of Pepperidge Farm cookies and Eggnog flavored Fat Boy ice cream sandwiches, and not be able to enjoy any of it.

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Do you ever find yourself losing focus and interest in most everything? If I believe what I hear on the radio, it's a form of depression. The chores at home are piling up faster than I can get them done.

I have to fix an oil leak on the wife's car, get the family Christmas letter finished, cards sent out, water heater wrapped up in the insulating blanket, clean up after the dog in the backyard (it's been about a month now...), disassemble a piece of patio furniture to store for the winter, and the list goes on and on and on and on and on. It's swallowing me whole. Easy to be overwhelmed in this situation.

I have project deadlines at work, I'm working with a piece of crap cad software that I'm really not that good with, and yet, this company wants me to be proficient in it. I could probably learn the Swedish language easier than I can this software. POS.

When did life get so complicated?

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*My bad. It appears that Andrew Ridgely (from the band "Wham!") is actually married to one of the chicks from Bananarama. Who knew?

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PS: I will honestly try to come up with a better post than this over the weekend!

Imagine...

A hat tip to The Walrus



You filled my childhood with visions of Strawberry Fields, Yellow Submarines and Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.

Some of my most treasured memories are called to mind by your music.

Gone for 25 years, you're still very much alive through your words and songs.

And just between you and me, I never did like Yoko's music.

Just call me Typhoid Nilo

It seems to be a curse. I wonder if I can turn this to my advantage?

• Yesterday, I go to publish a post yesterday, and manage to knock Blogger out for over an hour.
• Today, I go to check my email at Gmail, and suddenly, Google Mail is down for most of the day.

How DO I do it?

Should we have a pool as to the next site I down?

I'm trying at this very moment to access our company's network through the internet, figuring that if the network is down, there is literally nothing I can accomplish at the office. Wish me luck!

It was a Sign...

I had just finished writing my post yesterday, and clicked the "Publish Post" button when Blogger crashed.

I took it as a sign from above.

It included a bit too much information about some pretty amazing things that have happened in my life over the past four and a half years. I guess it will have to wait.

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In other news, post-partum depression is in full swing at our house, cutting my productivity at home back to essentially nothing. I don't know if we'll get a Christmas letter out with our cards this year, because I have no freakin' time to work on it!!!

After last night's episode, it looks as though my wife will be taking the two oldest girls out of gymnastics, and cutting back their Santa haul to one present apiece, along with a note from the Jolly Old Elf himself, explaining that they made the "naughty" list.

Here is the scenario: Oldest two girls, regardless of the great lengths we have gone to to teach and encourage basic honesty in our home, lie as much as they breathe.

They argue and fight with each other, and if one of them takes or breaks something that wasn't theirs, they will lie until they're blue in the face about it. Hell, they'd even lie if they were caught on video actually perpetrating the "crime".

Wife and I can't figure it out. It flies in the face of everything we have taught them. So I can almost agree with her on this one.

Anyone have any suggestions in this department? I'm wide open...

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Some of you may have noticed a few posts disappearing here and there. While I may not be getting a huge amount of P*ige H*mmis traffic, I am starting to pick up with the *lla K*sova traffic. I'd just as soon avoid another onslaught of people looking for nudie pictures. So, those posts mentioning *lla will be taken down for the time being.

Happy Tuesday Y'all!

Some People's Children

I was totally prepared to write a way better post than this today. How's that for an opening line?

Go ahead. Turn back now. The possibility of something enlightening escaping my lips or fingertips today is dwindling rapidly.

Lack of sleep. Extreme lack of sleep.

Curse Comcast and that silly little 12.0 mbps cable modem they sent me. My wife was laughing good and hard at me this morning, because I came to bed at about... oh, 2:00am.

She doesn't understand things like going from a 21.6 kbps connection to the data pipeline we have now. There's even talk of putting a curfew on the computer (tucking it in with a blanket and the whole works).

Okay, on to the post....

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Headline: Crosses honoring troopers protested: Atheists' suit says Utah markers unconstitutional

This is where I get politically incorrect. And very pissed off. Let's set the wayback machine for, oh, say the early 1600's? Location: England.

The Church of England was a state sponsored and controlled church, and life could be and usually was made very hard for those who didn't belong to or opposed the official church in any way.

In writing the Consitution of the United States of America, the founding fathers didn't want any encore presentations of the religious intolerance that was played out in England, hence the First Amendment:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof...”

Seems pretty clear cut to me: The state neither establishes a religion, nor interferes with anyone's religious rights.

In a statement, Utah atheist Stephen Clark said the cross stands for Christianity to the casual observer.

"To so blatantly tie the [Utah Highway Patrol] to religion and to overwhelm the commemoration with a harrowing symbol exclusive to one religion unquestionably violates the doctrine of the separation of church and state", Clark said.

What a crock of shit.

I see no religion being established here, and I can't see religious persecution here, either. Unless you count the asshats who are filing the suit.

This is not about establishment of religion or preventing the free exercise thereof. This is about the few having power over the many. This is an in-your-face bitch slap to the religious. This is about contention, and the great money that is to be made from it. This is about taking the unity that made our country great, and turning neighbor against neighbor until our nation is nothing more than a bunch of bitter, angry people living on the same land mass.

This is not the First Amendment. This is the bastard inbred cousin of the First Amendment, and if we could figure out a way to harness the energy from the founding fathers spinning in their graves, we could probably cut our dependence on foreign oil altogether.

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It looks like Alla was fired from The Apprentice last night.

I think it's admirable that she made it that far. She's right, though; her financial net worth is over eight figures. Losing the bid to a job from Donald Trump shouldn't affect her very much.

Who knows? She might own Trump someday. If you take a look at where she came from, and how far she has come, it's definitely a possibility.

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That's all for now. I'm listening to the music from A Charlie Brown Christmas by the Vince Guaraldi Trio. Very relaxing, very seasonal, very recommended.

The White Stuff Is Here To Stay

Submitted for your Holiday listening pleasure; a slightly modified version of "Winter Wonderland":

Horns blare, are you listening?
Blinding glare, snow is glistening!
A beautiful sight
But there's black ice tonight
Driving in a winter wonderland.

Gone away is the asphalt
here to stay is sand and salt
It's eating away
At our cars every day
Driving in a winter wonderland.

On the freeway, traffic's stop and go man!
People driving like they're circus clowns
Swerve in front of me, well don'tcha know man?
It wouldn't bother me to run you down!

As I weave through the traffic
Past the stupid and spastic
Peeps who don't know how to drive in the snow
Driving in a winter wonderland!!!