Things that make me go "Hmmmm...." This page is updated dynamically everytime a random neuron in my brain misfires, and makes me look at something differently.
10-05-2005 - I think I would like to learn Elvish. Seriously, I love listening to Arwen sweet-talk Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings. And the writing? Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.
10-12-2005 - So, what do you get when you hold the special "Star Wars glow-in-the-dark wrapper" version of a Snickers candy bar up to the light? A melted candy bar. Should have seen that one coming.
11-03-2005 - I wonder if people can read my lips through the cars windows as I shout the word "Dipshit" at them?
11-08-2005 - There are two different food groups: Bacon, and everything that is not bacon. There is nothing more delicious than a Bacon Cheeseburger, IMHO.
11-15-2005 - I wish there was a camera out there that could capture what my eyes see in a photo. There is nothing quite like the clouds parting to a sapphire blue sky littered with sparkling stars and a full moon. There's also nothing quite able to catch that in a photograph.
12-16-2005 - My dad was walking in the mall the other night, when he was approached by a man trying to find an exit...
Man: What's the quickest way out of here?
Dad: Aneurysm, I think.
12-19-2005 - Sometimes my dyslexia gets the best of me. I read the headline "Star's death challenges 'West Wing' writers" and what my mind sees is "Death Star challenges 'West Wing' writers", which, wouldn't be much of a challenge, but would be fun to watch.
01-26-2006 - Another dyslexic moment here. Today, as I was driving to work, I spent some time behind a car that had a couple of "Yellowstone National Park" bumper stickers, an oval sticker with "YNP" on it, and a license plate which read "YLSTN". And I thought "Yeltsin? I'm driving behind Boris Yeltsin?! How cool is that?"
I am such a tool sometimes.
02-18-2006 - Gotta work on that mouth of mine. When your car is sliding sideways on the interstate, and you could be seconds away from meeting your maker, your last words probably shouldn't be "shitshitSHITshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit".
03-17-2006 - Driving past the dog food factory actually makes me hungry. Woof.
03-17-2006 - Clicking the car remote at the front door of your house will not cause it to unlock. No matter how many times you try.
05-18-2006 - Also, If you're standing next to your car, clicking your remote at it, and another car in the parking lot is chirping instead, chances are this isn't your car.
05-18-2006 - The phrase "Arrrrgh, ye blimey f*ckers!" always makes me laugh. Being that no one ever says it, I don't laugh much.
05-18-2006 - The danger of a woman with a cell phone: She'll have called the police on you for staring at her too long, and you'll be in cuffs before anyone realizes that you've simply fallen asleep with your eyes open.
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