...or "Bad-Ass Moses".
Did anyone catch the remake of "The Ten Commandments"on ABC-TV over the past two nights? I did. I'm regretting the time that I spent planted in front of the TV. I could have been doing far more productive things, like doing dishes, building an armoire, making a sandwich, having naughty-bad fun with the wife, etc., etc., etc. So, whether you want it or not, you're getting the "Movie According To Nilo" show today. My apologies to you if you really dug the show...
The Ten Commandments - Two Thumbs Down.
Have you ever fallen victim to a movie that looked pretty good on the commercial, and then you go see it, only to discover that the only 90 seconds of decent footage in the entire film was the commercial?
This is pretty much the case. I enjoyed the scene where Pharoah asks Moses why he should grant freedom to the slaves, and Moses boldly replies "Because God commands it!" I was thinking the whole movie might be of that same caliber. Wrongo.
The movie starts out with an epileptic crazy man prophet sort of fellow that is summoned to interpret a rather disturbing dream of the old Pharoah. He whines like he really, really needs to go to the bathroom, gives his prophetic warning concerning a slave child that will be raised as a prince of Egypt, and then falls over and looks like he's getting jiggy wit'da floor.
In the Cecil B. DeMille version (hereafter referred to as the "CBD" version), Moses doesn't find out about his heritage until he's a grown man (if my memory serves me right). In the stupid-ass version (hereafter referred to as the "SA" version), he is taken as a young child to the ghetto, and introduced to his family. (Hey Moses, these scraggly, stinky people with no fashion sense are your birth family! Don't worry though, you can still live in the palace...)
In the CBD version, Moses and Ramses are raised as brothers. In the SA version, Moses is raised with some Egyptian kid named "Menerith", who later grows up to serve Ramses in his royal court. Menerith has no problem with the fact that Moses comes from slave stock, and years later, brings his son to the ghetto to meet the bedraggled prophet. Son, this is a great man... Ah Menerith, don't you have a plane to catch? Flight 813, maybe?
This version of the Ten Commandments is also infatuated with blood, gore and mindless killing, perpetuating some idiotic notion that the entire pre-renaissance world was just a bloodbath with a few cool buildings, some gnarly costumes here and there, and extremely bad hygiene. Fact shows that many highly civilized peoples have populated the earth in millenia past.
Perhaps the most offensive thing about the show (other than the gross inaccuracies, and very liberal usage of "creative license") was the way they portrayed the man Moses. He continually looked as though he either had a migraine or was constipated. When God "whispered", Moses clutched his head as though the Almighty was standing next to him screaming into a megaphone. Also, the lack of confidence in God, himself and his destiny was another brain-child of Hollywood, who - in the name of "passion" - cuts great and inspirational figures down to the lowest possible denominator, and gives us reason to not only be uninspired, but rather comfortable in our complacency.
Think about it: Moses was educated in the royal courts of Egypt. According to the Bible, The Lord "spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend" (Exodus 33:11), and if you read through chapters 3 and 4 of Exodus, the Lord spells things out rather succinctly to Moses, and how events are going to unfold. Contrast this to the SA version, where Moses can't figure out his own identity, let alone God's. Our migraine suffering bedraggled prophet keeps trying to second guess himself and God, wondering what's going to happen next. I'd wager that to be instructed by the Creator of the universe would purge you of any doubt or misgiving... but hey, that's just me.
Again, Yay Charlton Heston, Boo to the new show.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Monday, April 10, 2006
And Yet Another Stolen Meme...
This one I shamelessly stole from Cinders. I like it because it's just straight "Yes or No" answers... no room for explanation, but plenty for the imagination...
The Rules:
1. You can only say YES or NO!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!
Taken a picture naked? : YES
Made out with a member of the same sex? : NO
Danced in front of your mirror? : NO
Told a lie? : YES
Gotten in a car with people you just met?: YES
Been in a fist fight? : Yes
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? : YES
Been arrested? : NO
Left your house without telling your parents? : YES
Ditched school to do something more fun? : YES
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? : YES
Seen someone die? : NO
Kissed a picture? : YES
Slept in until 3? : YES
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? : YES
Played dress up? : YES
Fallen asleep at work/school? : YES
Felt an earthquake? : YES
Touched a snake? : YES
Ran a red light? : YES
Had detention? : YES
Been in a car accident? : YES
Pole danced? : NO
Been lost? : YES
Sang karaoke? : NO
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? : YES
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? : YES
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? : YES
Kissed in the rain? : YES
Sang in the shower? : YES
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? : NO
Ever gone to school partially naked? : NO
Sat on a roof top? : YES
Played chicken? : NO
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : NO
Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? : YES
Broken a bone? : NO
Mooned/flashed someone? : YES
Forgotten someone's name? : YES
Slept naked? : YES
Blacked out from drinking? : YES
Played a prank on someone? : YES
Felt like killing someone? : YES
Made a parent cry? : YES
Cried over someone? : YES
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? : NO
Had/Have a dog? : YES
Been in a band? : NO
Drank 25 sodas in a day? : NO
Shot a gun? : YES
Again, this is yours for the taking if you want it...
The Rules:
1. You can only say YES or NO!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!
Taken a picture naked? : YES
Made out with a member of the same sex? : NO
Danced in front of your mirror? : NO
Told a lie? : YES
Gotten in a car with people you just met?: YES
Been in a fist fight? : Yes
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? : YES
Been arrested? : NO
Left your house without telling your parents? : YES
Ditched school to do something more fun? : YES
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? : YES
Seen someone die? : NO
Kissed a picture? : YES
Slept in until 3? : YES
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? : YES
Played dress up? : YES
Fallen asleep at work/school? : YES
Felt an earthquake? : YES
Touched a snake? : YES
Ran a red light? : YES
Had detention? : YES
Been in a car accident? : YES
Pole danced? : NO
Been lost? : YES
Sang karaoke? : NO
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? : YES
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? : YES
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? : YES
Kissed in the rain? : YES
Sang in the shower? : YES
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? : NO
Ever gone to school partially naked? : NO
Sat on a roof top? : YES
Played chicken? : NO
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : NO
Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? : YES
Broken a bone? : NO
Mooned/flashed someone? : YES
Forgotten someone's name? : YES
Slept naked? : YES
Blacked out from drinking? : YES
Played a prank on someone? : YES
Felt like killing someone? : YES
Made a parent cry? : YES
Cried over someone? : YES
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? : NO
Had/Have a dog? : YES
Been in a band? : NO
Drank 25 sodas in a day? : NO
Shot a gun? : YES
Again, this is yours for the taking if you want it...
Overdue Meme...
Tagged by Lee Ann... Sorry it's taken me so long...
Accent - Utahn, I think. Although I can pull a spanking good British accent, or a damn good red-neck accent if I want.
Booze of choice - Gave up the brew 17 years ago. It's Dr. Pepper or Coke nowadays, usually the "unleaded" variety.
Chore I hate - Dishes
Dog or cat - Dog. She's dumb, but likeable
Essential electronics - Computer... ..?
Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s) – Old Spice, Old Spice Musk, Oleg Cassini...
Gold or Silver? – Gold
Hometown - Park City, Utah (lived there the longest, anyway)
Insomnia? – Never
Job Title – CAD Designer
Kids? - Four of them... Love 'em more than life.
Living Arrangement - All of us... under one roof.
Most admired trait - Understanding
Number of Sexual Partners - Only my wife.
Overnight Hospital Stays - Not yet
Phobia - I've probably got a few, but I can't think of any right now...
Quote - "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details." - Albert Einstein
Religion - Yes
Siblings - One brother, one sister, lots of steps and halves in there too (10 sibs total)
Time I wake up - 6:00 am
Unusual talent/skill - Escaping death on the highway
Vegetable I refuse to eat - ? Okra, maybe? I dunno.
Worst habit - Not reading my wife's mind
X-rays - Dental only.
Yummy foods I make - Chicken Salad Croissants, Steak & Cheese in a baguette, Steak, Grilled Turkey & Bacon subs, Bacon Cheeseburgers...
Zodiac sign - Taurus
At this point, I'm supposed to tag 5 of you to pick this up. The floor is open to anyone who wants to run with it... I'm terrible at choosing.
Accent - Utahn, I think. Although I can pull a spanking good British accent, or a damn good red-neck accent if I want.
Booze of choice - Gave up the brew 17 years ago. It's Dr. Pepper or Coke nowadays, usually the "unleaded" variety.
Chore I hate - Dishes
Dog or cat - Dog. She's dumb, but likeable
Essential electronics - Computer... ..?
Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s) – Old Spice, Old Spice Musk, Oleg Cassini...
Gold or Silver? – Gold
Hometown - Park City, Utah (lived there the longest, anyway)
Insomnia? – Never
Job Title – CAD Designer
Kids? - Four of them... Love 'em more than life.
Living Arrangement - All of us... under one roof.
Most admired trait - Understanding
Number of Sexual Partners - Only my wife.
Overnight Hospital Stays - Not yet
Phobia - I've probably got a few, but I can't think of any right now...
Quote - "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details." - Albert Einstein
Religion - Yes
Siblings - One brother, one sister, lots of steps and halves in there too (10 sibs total)
Time I wake up - 6:00 am
Unusual talent/skill - Escaping death on the highway
Vegetable I refuse to eat - ? Okra, maybe? I dunno.
Worst habit - Not reading my wife's mind
X-rays - Dental only.
Yummy foods I make - Chicken Salad Croissants, Steak & Cheese in a baguette, Steak, Grilled Turkey & Bacon subs, Bacon Cheeseburgers...
Zodiac sign - Taurus
At this point, I'm supposed to tag 5 of you to pick this up. The floor is open to anyone who wants to run with it... I'm terrible at choosing.
Thursday, April 6, 2006
Guardian Angels Working Overtime
I must be a magnet for near-death experiences. Some of you may remember the day my little car started fishtailing on the icy interstate freeway. Today's incident made that day feel like a picnic in the park.
I was driving down the interstate freeway again, on my way to work this morning. The freeway had a certain amount of compacted slush and ice on it from a snowstorm that had been dumping on us for about 4 hours or so.
So I was zipping along in the middle of three lanes, keeping even pace with the traffic around me, when suddenly, nearly every brake light in front of me went on. I slammed on the brakes, but had hit a patch of slush, and was sliding (quite quickly) toward the car in front of me.
Somehow, I knew that the "fast" lane to my left was empty, and I swerved to the left to miss him, at which time the car went into a wicked fishtail. At that moment, my car did a graceful pirouette back into the middle lane, narrowly avoiding (we're talking mere inches, folks) about six different vehicles (including a large semi-truck) and "kissing" the front fender of the car that I had initially swerved to avoid hitting.
When my car started spinning out of control, there was a very distinct feeling of "My goose is cooked". It was the knowledge that I was not going to come out of this situation in good shape, if at all. Yet, in defiance to the laws of physics, my little car spun around on a crowded interstate freeway, and managed only to come into contact with one other vehicle... and barely, at that.
The Blue Mouse sits in my garage tonight, proudly displaying her battle scar: A three inch scrape on the front bumper. How did the other car fare? About as well. Damage is hardly noticeable.
I'm really at a loss to explain why I wasn't killed, or at least injured on the route today. If you had only seen the crazy way my car was spinning around in between all of those other vehicles, you'd understand.
I was sure to thank God for saving my neck, and letting me live a little longer; letting me love and enjoy my family and friends just a little longer...
I was driving down the interstate freeway again, on my way to work this morning. The freeway had a certain amount of compacted slush and ice on it from a snowstorm that had been dumping on us for about 4 hours or so.
So I was zipping along in the middle of three lanes, keeping even pace with the traffic around me, when suddenly, nearly every brake light in front of me went on. I slammed on the brakes, but had hit a patch of slush, and was sliding (quite quickly) toward the car in front of me.
Somehow, I knew that the "fast" lane to my left was empty, and I swerved to the left to miss him, at which time the car went into a wicked fishtail. At that moment, my car did a graceful pirouette back into the middle lane, narrowly avoiding (we're talking mere inches, folks) about six different vehicles (including a large semi-truck) and "kissing" the front fender of the car that I had initially swerved to avoid hitting.
When my car started spinning out of control, there was a very distinct feeling of "My goose is cooked". It was the knowledge that I was not going to come out of this situation in good shape, if at all. Yet, in defiance to the laws of physics, my little car spun around on a crowded interstate freeway, and managed only to come into contact with one other vehicle... and barely, at that.
The Blue Mouse sits in my garage tonight, proudly displaying her battle scar: A three inch scrape on the front bumper. How did the other car fare? About as well. Damage is hardly noticeable.
I'm really at a loss to explain why I wasn't killed, or at least injured on the route today. If you had only seen the crazy way my car was spinning around in between all of those other vehicles, you'd understand.
I was sure to thank God for saving my neck, and letting me live a little longer; letting me love and enjoy my family and friends just a little longer...
Thank You
Thank you for your prayers, well-wishes and kind thoughts throughout the week. Grandma slipped quietly away Wednesday evening.
Monday afternoon, the decision was made to keep Grandma on life support. She was still semi-conscious and indicated she didn't want to go yet.
Grandma's nurse had come in earlier in the afternoon, recommending some good hospice programs, and so while my wife's mother made phone calls to check on insurance coverage, I asked the doctors some pretty direct questions...
It was determined that moving Grandma to hospice care would deprive her of the breathing apparatus that was currently keeping her alive; that hospice was really only going to make her comfortable before she died. Because her single best chance for survival depended on a large, pimped-out CPAP machine, it was determined that Grandma would stay a little longer in the hospital. Watching her poor, frail body fight just to breathe, I didn't hold out much hope that she'd be with us much longer...
By Wednesday evening, Grandma slipped into a coma. Her brother from Arizona was able to make it to the hospital on time and say his goodbyes. By Thursday, her body had no strength left and began shutting down. She was gone by dinner time.
I think it was hardest for our oldest two children. They'd never experienced the death of someone close to them before. They've lost a great-grandmother, and have two more great-grandparents who are in their 80's, and who are extremely close to our kids. I do not look forward to the day that either of them passes...
Again, thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and kind words this week; they have been much appreciated.
Nilo
Monday afternoon, the decision was made to keep Grandma on life support. She was still semi-conscious and indicated she didn't want to go yet.
Grandma's nurse had come in earlier in the afternoon, recommending some good hospice programs, and so while my wife's mother made phone calls to check on insurance coverage, I asked the doctors some pretty direct questions...
It was determined that moving Grandma to hospice care would deprive her of the breathing apparatus that was currently keeping her alive; that hospice was really only going to make her comfortable before she died. Because her single best chance for survival depended on a large, pimped-out CPAP machine, it was determined that Grandma would stay a little longer in the hospital. Watching her poor, frail body fight just to breathe, I didn't hold out much hope that she'd be with us much longer...
By Wednesday evening, Grandma slipped into a coma. Her brother from Arizona was able to make it to the hospital on time and say his goodbyes. By Thursday, her body had no strength left and began shutting down. She was gone by dinner time.
I think it was hardest for our oldest two children. They'd never experienced the death of someone close to them before. They've lost a great-grandmother, and have two more great-grandparents who are in their 80's, and who are extremely close to our kids. I do not look forward to the day that either of them passes...
Again, thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and kind words this week; they have been much appreciated.
Nilo
Sunday, April 2, 2006
What My Eyes Have Seen...
***Update***
We have a grandma in the hospital that has taken a turn for the worse. They're going to be taking her off of life support in the next few hours, and so... no post today. Sorry.
***Note***
I did promise you a post or two to read on Monday morning.
My bad.
I hadn't counted on my wife coming down with the same plague I had for an entire week. Between the time that I got home Friday night until this moment, there has seriously not been a free minute to call my own.
Well, there was actually a spot of free time this evening, but that was spent in front of the TV, watching "Memoirs of a Geisha." Excellent film, in my opinion; time well spent.
My 6-yr old has the same sickness too, and so I take care of her, while juggling the baby and the 2-yr old while my wife tries to sleep some of this off. All of this while managing to fix dinner, and bathe all four of my kids.
SAHM's: My hat is off to you. Several times over. I can't see myself suriving a career like that, and those of you who run a household have my sincere admiration.
Look for a new post between 12:00 & 2:00 MDT on Monday... I'm heading to bed...
We have a grandma in the hospital that has taken a turn for the worse. They're going to be taking her off of life support in the next few hours, and so... no post today. Sorry.
***Note***
I did promise you a post or two to read on Monday morning.
My bad.
I hadn't counted on my wife coming down with the same plague I had for an entire week. Between the time that I got home Friday night until this moment, there has seriously not been a free minute to call my own.
Well, there was actually a spot of free time this evening, but that was spent in front of the TV, watching "Memoirs of a Geisha." Excellent film, in my opinion; time well spent.
My 6-yr old has the same sickness too, and so I take care of her, while juggling the baby and the 2-yr old while my wife tries to sleep some of this off. All of this while managing to fix dinner, and bathe all four of my kids.
SAHM's: My hat is off to you. Several times over. I can't see myself suriving a career like that, and those of you who run a household have my sincere admiration.
Look for a new post between 12:00 & 2:00 MDT on Monday... I'm heading to bed...
Friday, March 31, 2006
Wanna See Something Crazy?
Tell me this doesn't scare you...
High-Speed Chase Ends After Several Crashes
This news station has nearly the entire chase on video... make sure you see it! You will be amazed...
Evidently, the police started pursuing the car in question because it was suspect in a burglary in another part of town earlier that day.
The number of other cars that this guy crashed into, number of people he injured, amount of property damage that he caused, and the number of lives that he put at risk, just because he didn't "wanna be caught".... Oh man, I was waiting for some serious "Rodney King" action when they pulled him out of that car. I was hoping, anyway. They didn't show anything on TV...
What the hell is wrong with people these days?!?!
The speeding car, which you see get more and more damaged in the chase video (pretty much a worthless wreck by the end) was owned by a local girl. The guy who drove it all over town on the high-speed chase? Someone she met over the internet.
When all you know about a person is what you see on a monitor, be very, very careful. There is really no substitution for knowing a person in real life, and knowing the people who know them.
Some internet relationships actually turn out great, but far too often the person on the other end of the line is nothing like they've portrayed themselves...
In other news, I think I'll be re-vamping the masthead again this weekend... I need something completely different.
Sorry for little to no activity here for the past week. Today is the first day that I think I may actually be over this sickness. It was quite possibly the worst "non-stomach" flu I have ever, ever had. Ick.
I hope you all have a good weekend... I will have a few posts for your perusal by Monday!
High-Speed Chase Ends After Several Crashes
This news station has nearly the entire chase on video... make sure you see it! You will be amazed...
Evidently, the police started pursuing the car in question because it was suspect in a burglary in another part of town earlier that day.
The number of other cars that this guy crashed into, number of people he injured, amount of property damage that he caused, and the number of lives that he put at risk, just because he didn't "wanna be caught".... Oh man, I was waiting for some serious "Rodney King" action when they pulled him out of that car. I was hoping, anyway. They didn't show anything on TV...
What the hell is wrong with people these days?!?!
The speeding car, which you see get more and more damaged in the chase video (pretty much a worthless wreck by the end) was owned by a local girl. The guy who drove it all over town on the high-speed chase? Someone she met over the internet.
When all you know about a person is what you see on a monitor, be very, very careful. There is really no substitution for knowing a person in real life, and knowing the people who know them.
Some internet relationships actually turn out great, but far too often the person on the other end of the line is nothing like they've portrayed themselves...
In other news, I think I'll be re-vamping the masthead again this weekend... I need something completely different.
Sorry for little to no activity here for the past week. Today is the first day that I think I may actually be over this sickness. It was quite possibly the worst "non-stomach" flu I have ever, ever had. Ick.
I hope you all have a good weekend... I will have a few posts for your perusal by Monday!
Friday, March 24, 2006
"...And We Have Taken Different Roads"
It's certainly an exercise in retrospect to think back on childhood friends and look at where everone is today...
Exhibit "A"
When I was eleven years old, one of my best friends was a ninja warrior. Well, OK. He only dressed like one. Being that I was a navy brat, and had to move quite often, I never had a chance to become really "cool", and was usually relegated to the geek group within weeks of moving in. The cool kids could smell lack of coolness on you like a shark can smell a drop of blood a mile away. And the geeks were friendly, and always looking for friends. Anyway, the ninja warrior had a drumset in his basement, and could play quite a few songs very well on it. There was a girl next door named Lisa who was a year younger than us, who was quite cute. I remember seeing her sitting on her doorstep talking on the phone a lot.
The ninja warrior would later become so estranged socially that he would drop out of school. After being involved in a car accident, the ninja warrior became hooked on pain meds, and then later illicit drugs. At last count, he is still living with his mother (in his late thirties.
Lisa, on the other hand, grew up and became even more beautiful, married a nice guy, had two kids... and then one day the guy comes home and says he's tired of being married to her. AND that he was taking the kids with him. After the custody hearing, where Lisa lost custody of her two children, she went home, put a gun in her mouth and took her own life. Her grave isn't quite two miles from my home.
Exhibit "B"
My high school peers. When you're in elementary school, there are very few differences between you and the rest of your peer group, when it comes to the essentials. By the time that you're in high school, these small differences become a bit more pronounced.
Where some of my friends would go on to have average, "successful" careers, others were definitely good at blazing trails of their own.
One friend who was somewhat "normal" began working out, getting buff and ripped and pretty much was your all-around stud. Within a year, he starts practicing witchcraft, and then announces that he's got bi-sexual tendencies. I don't know how to properly convey the expression that came across my face when he said that... "WTF" is such an understatement... We were driving down the canyon one night, and he was going to drop me off at my house and head out with some friends. He was really tense... "What's the matter? You're acting like a virgin on prom night..." "Well, I am in a matter of speaking..." Oh, too much information. I did NOT need to know that!
A few more years would go by, and he would switch back to "playing for his former team", marry a stripper, father a few children, get divorced, and only work an $8 per hour job and live with his parents so that his ex-wife wouldn't get any of his money. And that is where he is today, for all I know.
Other high school friends would become a Navy Seal, a rock musician living in Hollywood, an architect, a professor at Harvard, a career drunk, a writer for the TSR role-playing company, an airline pilot, a stewardess, a TV station manager, one has succumbed to breast cancer, and my best friend would become a financial analyst for a huge energy company in Houston. And I became a designer for a civil engineering company...
Exhibit "C"
When I was very, very young, I had a friend named J.J. He and I were the same age; his mother and mine met in the "alternative" high school for pregnant girls. Our parents kept in touch through the years, and J.J. and I would hook up and hang out every once in a while. The last time I remember seeing him was in high school. We went to the local amusement park, and rode a rickety old roller coaster that must have been nearly a hundred years old. We sat in the very front, and as the coaster roared over the top of a hill (right where it bounces you UP out of your seat?), the lap bar popped open, and J.J. and I were suddenly standing. up. on. the. freaking. roller coaster!!!. We hurriedly sat down, and J.J. turned around and gripped the safety bar on the compartment behind us. He was literally green, and I was probably sheet white....
J.J.'s mother became a born-again Christian, and called up a nationwide radio show, and had the pastor pray for my mom over the radio waves, because she was sure my mom was going to hell.
Understandably, J.J. and I didn't see a whole lot of each other past that point. Our families became a bit estranged. His parents eventually divorced, just a few years after mine. He later moved to Southern California, where he worked for a local university.
One day, while scanning the obituaries, I came across his. He was 32 when he took his own life.
In cases like that, I wondered if there was anything I could have done as a friend, had I been there, to make life slightly more tolerable for him. Is it fair for me to ask questions, or even insert myself into that situation?
I think it's natural for us to ask questions upon the death of a friend or a loved one. Questions about how we rated as a friend, or loved one to these people. Sometimes we blame ourselves for things that happen, and other times (more wisely), we come away having learned a few things.
On the flip side of that, we have people who come into our lives, open up the drapes and let the light in, and brighten our lives by their mere presence... And I have endeavored to have the good sense to learn from them, and turn around and share that light with others that I come in contact with. A smile, a hello, a touch... you may never know whose day you brighten by just one of these... you might even give hope to someone like J.J.
Exhibit "A"
When I was eleven years old, one of my best friends was a ninja warrior. Well, OK. He only dressed like one. Being that I was a navy brat, and had to move quite often, I never had a chance to become really "cool", and was usually relegated to the geek group within weeks of moving in. The cool kids could smell lack of coolness on you like a shark can smell a drop of blood a mile away. And the geeks were friendly, and always looking for friends. Anyway, the ninja warrior had a drumset in his basement, and could play quite a few songs very well on it. There was a girl next door named Lisa who was a year younger than us, who was quite cute. I remember seeing her sitting on her doorstep talking on the phone a lot.
The ninja warrior would later become so estranged socially that he would drop out of school. After being involved in a car accident, the ninja warrior became hooked on pain meds, and then later illicit drugs. At last count, he is still living with his mother (in his late thirties.
Lisa, on the other hand, grew up and became even more beautiful, married a nice guy, had two kids... and then one day the guy comes home and says he's tired of being married to her. AND that he was taking the kids with him. After the custody hearing, where Lisa lost custody of her two children, she went home, put a gun in her mouth and took her own life. Her grave isn't quite two miles from my home.
Exhibit "B"
My high school peers. When you're in elementary school, there are very few differences between you and the rest of your peer group, when it comes to the essentials. By the time that you're in high school, these small differences become a bit more pronounced.
Where some of my friends would go on to have average, "successful" careers, others were definitely good at blazing trails of their own.
One friend who was somewhat "normal" began working out, getting buff and ripped and pretty much was your all-around stud. Within a year, he starts practicing witchcraft, and then announces that he's got bi-sexual tendencies. I don't know how to properly convey the expression that came across my face when he said that... "WTF" is such an understatement... We were driving down the canyon one night, and he was going to drop me off at my house and head out with some friends. He was really tense... "What's the matter? You're acting like a virgin on prom night..." "Well, I am in a matter of speaking..." Oh, too much information. I did NOT need to know that!
A few more years would go by, and he would switch back to "playing for his former team", marry a stripper, father a few children, get divorced, and only work an $8 per hour job and live with his parents so that his ex-wife wouldn't get any of his money. And that is where he is today, for all I know.
Other high school friends would become a Navy Seal, a rock musician living in Hollywood, an architect, a professor at Harvard, a career drunk, a writer for the TSR role-playing company, an airline pilot, a stewardess, a TV station manager, one has succumbed to breast cancer, and my best friend would become a financial analyst for a huge energy company in Houston. And I became a designer for a civil engineering company...
Exhibit "C"
When I was very, very young, I had a friend named J.J. He and I were the same age; his mother and mine met in the "alternative" high school for pregnant girls. Our parents kept in touch through the years, and J.J. and I would hook up and hang out every once in a while. The last time I remember seeing him was in high school. We went to the local amusement park, and rode a rickety old roller coaster that must have been nearly a hundred years old. We sat in the very front, and as the coaster roared over the top of a hill (right where it bounces you UP out of your seat?), the lap bar popped open, and J.J. and I were suddenly standing. up. on. the. freaking. roller coaster!!!. We hurriedly sat down, and J.J. turned around and gripped the safety bar on the compartment behind us. He was literally green, and I was probably sheet white....
J.J.'s mother became a born-again Christian, and called up a nationwide radio show, and had the pastor pray for my mom over the radio waves, because she was sure my mom was going to hell.
Understandably, J.J. and I didn't see a whole lot of each other past that point. Our families became a bit estranged. His parents eventually divorced, just a few years after mine. He later moved to Southern California, where he worked for a local university.
One day, while scanning the obituaries, I came across his. He was 32 when he took his own life.
In cases like that, I wondered if there was anything I could have done as a friend, had I been there, to make life slightly more tolerable for him. Is it fair for me to ask questions, or even insert myself into that situation?
I think it's natural for us to ask questions upon the death of a friend or a loved one. Questions about how we rated as a friend, or loved one to these people. Sometimes we blame ourselves for things that happen, and other times (more wisely), we come away having learned a few things.
On the flip side of that, we have people who come into our lives, open up the drapes and let the light in, and brighten our lives by their mere presence... And I have endeavored to have the good sense to learn from them, and turn around and share that light with others that I come in contact with. A smile, a hello, a touch... you may never know whose day you brighten by just one of these... you might even give hope to someone like J.J.
Friday, March 17, 2006
200+1: A Blog Odyssey
And life goes on past 200.
It was a moment of self realization as I put together the 200th post: I spend way too much time and energy doing this. It's a sad day when you find yourself sending emails in html code...
While my cyber-life has grown in leaps and bounds, it has come at a price: My personal and professional life.
I've recognized the need to devote more time, focus and energy into the "here and now", or in other words, "I need to have my mind where my body is".
And while I won't give up the blog completely, the posts will be a bit less frequent, and written where my personal and work schedules allow.
I'm slowin' down. I guess I've just become a senior citizen in the blog world. I wonder if I get a discount card to use in restaurants and stuff?
This post has been written under the influence of no sleep, and no freakin' time to myself for, like, days now...
It was a moment of self realization as I put together the 200th post: I spend way too much time and energy doing this. It's a sad day when you find yourself sending emails in html code...
While my cyber-life has grown in leaps and bounds, it has come at a price: My personal and professional life.
I've recognized the need to devote more time, focus and energy into the "here and now", or in other words, "I need to have my mind where my body is".
And while I won't give up the blog completely, the posts will be a bit less frequent, and written where my personal and work schedules allow.
I'm slowin' down. I guess I've just become a senior citizen in the blog world. I wonder if I get a discount card to use in restaurants and stuff?
This post has been written under the influence of no sleep, and no freakin' time to myself for, like, days now...
Monday, March 13, 2006
The 200th Post
I have reached the big 200!
While this may be small beans to many other bloggers out there, it's a milestone for me. I certainly had no idea I'd make it this far, and I have no idea how much longer I'm gonna be here... so I'm gonna party now!
I was going to categorize every one of my 200 posts over the past 11 months, but I thought I'd give you the Reader's Digest version instead. Essentially, this means you get some of the more notable posts without too much of the bitchy, whiney or political stuff.
While this may be small beans to many other bloggers out there, it's a milestone for me. I certainly had no idea I'd make it this far, and I have no idea how much longer I'm gonna be here... so I'm gonna party now!
I was going to categorize every one of my 200 posts over the past 11 months, but I thought I'd give you the Reader's Digest version instead. Essentially, this means you get some of the more notable posts without too much of the bitchy, whiney or political stuff.
- I dated a stripper that ended up on Donald Trump's "Apprentice" show last year
- In college, I was friends with someone who supposedly died in a car accident, but there are no records that can confirm this.
- I like to occasionally chase my dog around the yard with the wheelbarrow.
- Sometimes, knowing how to speak Spanish might be really, really helpful.
- I once met someone who built giant igloos in his front yard, made a snowball catapult out of a car jack, and if he really tried, could maintain his fragile grasp on reality for maybe a whole two minutes...
- I sometimes have strange dreams. But my wife has stranger ones.
- I spent my teenage years in Park City, Utah.
- I am an ideal candidate to be a technician who monitors erupting volcanoes.
- I once went to a topless bar in London (I was 17 at the time)
- Never rub your eyes after eating jalapeno chicken wings
- This Blog has had three different names: Four out of Five, Psh. Really., and No Paige Hemmis Pictures Here.
About Me:
- No Judgement Here...
- (Not) Much Ado About Nothing...
- Taken for Granted?
- "Oh, I just gotta be me...!"
- New Baby
- The 100th Post
- Introducing...
- The Soundtrack of My Life
- Hazards of the Job
- Strange Holiday Doings...
- My Bachelor Party
- When I grow up (To be a Man)
Memes & Surveys:
- The MEME
- My Ideal Career
- Oh No, Not Another One!
- Night-Flying Insects, Beware!
- A Meme from Jen
- Stolen Survey
- Yet Another Stolen Survey
Vacations & Trips
- Foreign Exchange Trip: 1986
- It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
- The Big Trip, Part 1
- The Big Trip, Part 2
- Another Case of Advertising Gone Awry...
- They see you coming a mile away...
- And you thought the price of gas was high!
- Much Needed Break
- The Midlife Crisis moment that was...then wasn't...then was again
- White Fluffy Fire-Breathing Flying Hippopotamus
Fun & Humor
- Polyester Nightmare, part 1
- Polyester Nightmare, part 2
- My hat tip to the Utah Driver...
- My Hero!
- Lost in Translation
- My take on the news
- Thursday Headlines
- More Humor from the Press
- For those unwanted comments
- Christmas Spec Sheet
- Delving Into Geekdom...
- Lighter Side of Life
- I *heart* morning radio
Strange, Deep or Insightful?
- Something In The Air....
- Father's Day 2005
- Stranger in Paradise
- May be good at chewing off a dinosaur's head
- What the McPhuc?
- Metamorphosis...
- Anatomy of a Birth
- My Message in a Bottle (Updated)
- ...and just for a second...
- Redefining A Few Things
- Now about my wardrobe...
- Thanksgiving Reflection
- The Hallucinogenic Value of Cheese
Audience Participation
- Dreamscapes and the Astral Plane
- Jumping the Shark
- Comfort Foods
- Grrrrrrrrr.
- Mmmmm... Cookies!
- Spongy Yellow Bit of Americana
- Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Links to Other Sites
- In Absentia...
- Blogging revealed
- And now, shift gears...
- Just a little Somethin' Somethin'
- Things That Have Made Me Smile Today
- You Rock My World!
- Odds & Ends
Friday, March 10, 2006
Pall of Darkness
Nobody wants to start their weekend out like this.
This morning, while I was travelling down the interstate on my way to work, the flow of traffic went from about 80mph to a dead stop. I sat still on the road for probably a good 5 to 7 minutes, and then started crawling along at a snail's pace. I literally could have walked faster than I was driving.
I started to curse the idiots that were responsible for the traffic mess , but something told me that I ought to hold my tongue. Nearly twenty minutes and a half-mile later, I passed by the source of our traffic congestion.
The two cars involved were barely recognizable. Completely smashed to hell, with a sheet draped over one of the cars.
It was over, just like that. Somebody's husband or wife, son or daughter... or even worse... father or mother, was gone. There were two fatalities in that accident.
Can you hear that distant sound? It's the sound of the whole world crashing down around the family and friends of those people who died. The horrifying thought is: They don't even know yet.
These people could have children, whose biggest worry at the moment is a pop quiz in math in 15 minutes. That is all about to change.
The family and friends are shortly going to learn about the mechanics of dying... the process of insurance, of obituaries, of choosing caskets and burial plots, of funerals, of burials... a thousand different questions to be answered at a time when you least want to answer them... of sorting out their lives and memories, of raw emotion boiling to the surface at unexpected times, of getting on with their lives...
Nobody wants to start their weekend out like this. But some people are now, and my thoughts and prayers are with them.
*Update*
The accident was caused when a car from the northbound lanes swerved, crossed the median and hit another car head-on in the southbound lanes. Both drivers were killed instantly.
I was approximately 30 seconds behind the car that was hit. It makes me really reflect on the value of 30 seconds...
Look here and here for details...
This morning, while I was travelling down the interstate on my way to work, the flow of traffic went from about 80mph to a dead stop. I sat still on the road for probably a good 5 to 7 minutes, and then started crawling along at a snail's pace. I literally could have walked faster than I was driving.
I started to curse the idiots that were responsible for the traffic mess , but something told me that I ought to hold my tongue. Nearly twenty minutes and a half-mile later, I passed by the source of our traffic congestion.
The two cars involved were barely recognizable. Completely smashed to hell, with a sheet draped over one of the cars.
It was over, just like that. Somebody's husband or wife, son or daughter... or even worse... father or mother, was gone. There were two fatalities in that accident.
Can you hear that distant sound? It's the sound of the whole world crashing down around the family and friends of those people who died. The horrifying thought is: They don't even know yet.
These people could have children, whose biggest worry at the moment is a pop quiz in math in 15 minutes. That is all about to change.
The family and friends are shortly going to learn about the mechanics of dying... the process of insurance, of obituaries, of choosing caskets and burial plots, of funerals, of burials... a thousand different questions to be answered at a time when you least want to answer them... of sorting out their lives and memories, of raw emotion boiling to the surface at unexpected times, of getting on with their lives...
Nobody wants to start their weekend out like this. But some people are now, and my thoughts and prayers are with them.
*Update*
The accident was caused when a car from the northbound lanes swerved, crossed the median and hit another car head-on in the southbound lanes. Both drivers were killed instantly.
I was approximately 30 seconds behind the car that was hit. It makes me really reflect on the value of 30 seconds...
Look here and here for details...
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
Yet Another Stolen Survey...
Taken from Lee Ann, who in turn pilfered it from Aliecat...
Things you may or may not know about me, but I will tell you anyways...
1.Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No.
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
What? Are you kidding?? No way. I especially like to hold my arms up and look straight up when I'm upside down in the loop...
3. When was the last time you went sleigh riding?
It's been years. We strap a plastic "disk of death" onto an innertube, and sled down the icy slopes of a nearby golf course. If you go too far, you get eaten by wolves or fall into a reservoir.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Does anyone really need to ask me this?
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes. Spirits, good and bad. Have had my experiences with both.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Yes.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Neither. Can I have Jennifer Finnigan instead?
9. Can you honestly say you know anything about politics?
Enough to really, really piss me off.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
No. Never had the knack for card games. Besides, "World Poker Tour" is absolutely ruining the Travel Channel.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
72, actually. When I was a freshman in college, my best friend and I bought a package of Marlboro reds, and smoked the whole pack in about an hour while playing pool. I seriously couldn't sleep for three days. Never smoked again.
12. Do you kill bugs that are in the house?
Sometimes I'll be nice and catch them, then let them go in the neighbor's yard. Other times I'm just too lazy & squish 'em.
13. Have you ever cheated on a test?
Once. And I regret it to this day.
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around, do you go through red lights?
No. Because if I go through a red light, there is inevitably a cop hiding close by. That is just my luck, always has been.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes. Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a complete ossary.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Red Sox. I root for the underdog.
17. Have you ever ice skated?
Yes.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Sometimes. Especially the naughty ones.
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you were crying?
When Mister sang his version of the Olympics Theme Song on the Chunga & Mister radio show
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Eleanor Rigby, Lucy In The Sky, Norwegian Wood, Michelle, And I Love Her
21. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Oh Yeah.
22. Do you know who BaBa Booey is?
Not a Ghouchyn clue.
23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Better believe it.
24. What talent do you wish you had?
Excellent photography skills.
25. Do you like Sushi?
Meh. It's okay...
26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Oh yeah A few times.
27. What do you wear to bed?
A grin.
28. Have you ever been caught stealing?
Caught? No. Stolen? Yes. Another one of my life's regrets...
29. Does size matter?
Yes/No. It's only part of the whole experience...
30. Do you truly hate anyone?
No, not truly hate. There are those I pity and despise, but not hate.
31. Rock and Roll or Rap?
Rock and Roll all the way, baby!
32. Do you have a relative in prison?
No.
33. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror like your favorite singer?
Of course.
34. Do you know how to play chess?
Yeah.
35. What food do you find disgusting?
Korean food with tiny, whole fish or crickets in it.
36. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?"
*chuckles* Ah yeah, those were the days.
37. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Nope. Not that kind of person. They're usually not my friends anymore by the time I make fun of them.
38. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes.
39. Have you ever been punched in the face?
No.
40. When is the last time you threw up from drinking too much?
1988.
41. Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater?
Yeah, but I can't remember which movie.
42. Do you ever sit through a bad movie, just to see how bad it got?
Masochism is not one of my qualities...so, no.
43. Would you consider yourself obsessed with anything/anyone?
Um, not really. "Very Interested" is about as far as it gets...
44. Have you ever met someone famous?
Yes.
45. Have you ever been stood up?
Yes. Thank you Hendy you hearltess psluhght
46. When's the last time you screamed at the top of your lungs?
Can't really remember.
47. Did you ever do something that you didn't want to, but did anyway just to fit in?
Are you kidding? I was a poster child for stuff like that.
Things you may or may not know about me, but I will tell you anyways...
1.Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No.
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
What? Are you kidding?? No way. I especially like to hold my arms up and look straight up when I'm upside down in the loop...
3. When was the last time you went sleigh riding?
It's been years. We strap a plastic "disk of death" onto an innertube, and sled down the icy slopes of a nearby golf course. If you go too far, you get eaten by wolves or fall into a reservoir.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Does anyone really need to ask me this?
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes. Spirits, good and bad. Have had my experiences with both.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Yes.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Neither. Can I have Jennifer Finnigan instead?
9. Can you honestly say you know anything about politics?
Enough to really, really piss me off.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
No. Never had the knack for card games. Besides, "World Poker Tour" is absolutely ruining the Travel Channel.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
72, actually. When I was a freshman in college, my best friend and I bought a package of Marlboro reds, and smoked the whole pack in about an hour while playing pool. I seriously couldn't sleep for three days. Never smoked again.
12. Do you kill bugs that are in the house?
Sometimes I'll be nice and catch them, then let them go in the neighbor's yard. Other times I'm just too lazy & squish 'em.
13. Have you ever cheated on a test?
Once. And I regret it to this day.
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around, do you go through red lights?
No. Because if I go through a red light, there is inevitably a cop hiding close by. That is just my luck, always has been.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes. Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a complete ossary.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Red Sox. I root for the underdog.
17. Have you ever ice skated?
Yes.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Sometimes. Especially the naughty ones.
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you were crying?
When Mister sang his version of the Olympics Theme Song on the Chunga & Mister radio show
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Eleanor Rigby, Lucy In The Sky, Norwegian Wood, Michelle, And I Love Her
21. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Oh Yeah.
22. Do you know who BaBa Booey is?
Not a Ghouchyn clue.
23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Better believe it.
24. What talent do you wish you had?
Excellent photography skills.
25. Do you like Sushi?
Meh. It's okay...
26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Oh yeah A few times.
27. What do you wear to bed?
A grin.
28. Have you ever been caught stealing?
Caught? No. Stolen? Yes. Another one of my life's regrets...
29. Does size matter?
Yes/No. It's only part of the whole experience...
30. Do you truly hate anyone?
No, not truly hate. There are those I pity and despise, but not hate.
31. Rock and Roll or Rap?
Rock and Roll all the way, baby!
32. Do you have a relative in prison?
No.
33. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror like your favorite singer?
Of course.
34. Do you know how to play chess?
Yeah.
35. What food do you find disgusting?
Korean food with tiny, whole fish or crickets in it.
36. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?"
*chuckles* Ah yeah, those were the days.
37. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Nope. Not that kind of person. They're usually not my friends anymore by the time I make fun of them.
38. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes.
39. Have you ever been punched in the face?
No.
40. When is the last time you threw up from drinking too much?
1988.
41. Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater?
Yeah, but I can't remember which movie.
42. Do you ever sit through a bad movie, just to see how bad it got?
Masochism is not one of my qualities...so, no.
43. Would you consider yourself obsessed with anything/anyone?
Um, not really. "Very Interested" is about as far as it gets...
44. Have you ever met someone famous?
Yes.
45. Have you ever been stood up?
Yes. Thank you Hendy you hearltess psluhght
46. When's the last time you screamed at the top of your lungs?
Can't really remember.
47. Did you ever do something that you didn't want to, but did anyway just to fit in?
Are you kidding? I was a poster child for stuff like that.
Monday, March 6, 2006
The Darker Side of Linguistics
A bit of fun & creativity for a Monday.
Years ago, my linguistics professor wrote the word "GHOTI" on the board and asked the class for a pronunciation. Several were offered, but we were all surprised when he pronounced the word as "FISH". He then diagrammed the word out:
GH as in "enough"
O as in "women"
TI as in "addition"
Today, being Monday, and for several other reasons, I've had profane words swimming through my head for most of the morning. So, in the vein of trying to be creative, I've come up with a few linguistically-disguised words that I will be using off and on in the blog. These are meant to express my sentiments while shielding your tender ears (eyes...whatever) from horribly ugly profanity splayed across the screen. Ready?
OU as in "rough"
CH as in "Bach"
Add the 'T and YN (as in "Synonym") for different formulations of the word.
Y as in "crypt"
PT as in "Ptolemy"
U as in "fun"
NEV as in "Nevada"
U as in "sun"
B as in "boy"
O as in "women"
T as in "obituary"
Not so creative as the others... We could abbreviate it as ECOUBY...
And then my favorite word to yell at people who don't know what the blinking yellow light on their car is for...
J as in "Jalapeno"
ULL as in "full"
Here's the challenge: Come up with some linguistically-disguised words and post them here in the comments section. I've shown you mine, now show me yours...
Years ago, my linguistics professor wrote the word "GHOTI" on the board and asked the class for a pronunciation. Several were offered, but we were all surprised when he pronounced the word as "FISH". He then diagrammed the word out:
GH as in "enough"
O as in "women"
TI as in "addition"
Today, being Monday, and for several other reasons, I've had profane words swimming through my head for most of the morning. So, in the vein of trying to be creative, I've come up with a few linguistically-disguised words that I will be using off and on in the blog. These are meant to express my sentiments while shielding your tender ears (eyes...whatever) from horribly ugly profanity splayed across the screen. Ready?
Ghouch
GH as in "enough"OU as in "rough"
CH as in "Bach"
Add the 'T and YN (as in "Synonym") for different formulations of the word.
Tiypt
TI as in "addition"Y as in "crypt"
PT as in "Ptolemy"
Cunevubot
C as in "acid"U as in "fun"
NEV as in "Nevada"
U as in "sun"
B as in "boy"
O as in "women"
T as in "obituary"
Not so creative as the others... We could abbreviate it as ECOUBY...
And then my favorite word to yell at people who don't know what the blinking yellow light on their car is for...
"ACJULL!!!"
AC as in "acid"J as in "Jalapeno"
ULL as in "full"
Here's the challenge: Come up with some linguistically-disguised words and post them here in the comments section. I've shown you mine, now show me yours...
Friday, March 3, 2006
I *heart* Morning Radio
Or at least one particular show. Though I'm not going to name it in this post, 'cause I can just see them stumbling across this and going, "Aw hell, somebody blogged about that?"
Here is an exchange between the traffic reporter (early 20's, nice looking woman) and one of the two hosts (early 30's, married with kids) this morning:
Host: And it's time for our traffic report by Chelsea..
Chelsea: But we just did traffic
Host: We did?
Chelsea: Yeah, weren't you listening?
Host: Um, no. I have A.D.D.
Chelsea: You really know how to make a girl feel appreciated! You guys probably wouldn't notice if I was here or not...
Host: Oh, hey, that's where you're wrong, Chels... We always know when you're here... 'cause the place generally smells a whole lot nicer...
Chelsea: Awwww...thanks!
Host: And... And you're easy on the eyes, too Chels... It's really a high point of my day...
Chelsea: Awwww....
Host: I think I just sexually harassed you on the air...
Chelsea: Uh, yeah, you did...
Host: And by the way, you have a great ass, too...
These guys seriously keep me from slipping into a coma on days like today, and ultimately becoming a twisted, fiery, bloody mass of Honda on the interstate. Yay morning radio!!!
more later...
Here is an exchange between the traffic reporter (early 20's, nice looking woman) and one of the two hosts (early 30's, married with kids) this morning:
Host: And it's time for our traffic report by Chelsea..
Chelsea: But we just did traffic
Host: We did?
Chelsea: Yeah, weren't you listening?
Host: Um, no. I have A.D.D.
Chelsea: You really know how to make a girl feel appreciated! You guys probably wouldn't notice if I was here or not...
Host: Oh, hey, that's where you're wrong, Chels... We always know when you're here... 'cause the place generally smells a whole lot nicer...
Chelsea: Awwww...thanks!
Host: And... And you're easy on the eyes, too Chels... It's really a high point of my day...
Chelsea: Awwww....
Host: I think I just sexually harassed you on the air...
Chelsea: Uh, yeah, you did...
Host: And by the way, you have a great ass, too...
These guys seriously keep me from slipping into a coma on days like today, and ultimately becoming a twisted, fiery, bloody mass of Honda on the interstate. Yay morning radio!!!
more later...
Thursday, March 2, 2006
Psychobabble...
Now you have to put up with the ramblings of a sick mind.... BWAHAhahahahahahaha!
Tubs: First off, most of us have a bathtub in our home, no? Is your tub deep enough to cover you completely with water? Mine is. Ha! Jealous? Probably not. But as I was soaking yesterday in a piping hot bath in the middle of my delerium, I thought of the next bath the I want to have: The Bain Ultra Tub. Just at a glance, I'm thinking I like the Ayoura 7236. These come with air jets (with a pattern set up specifically on your back), heated backrest, heated headrest, and chromatherapy lights.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm all about light and color. I must have been a moth in a previous life... But to have light and color while bathing in a hot, luxurious bath of bubbles? Oh, Heaven! Throw in a CD player with some George Winston, Rachmaninov or maybe some mid-80's Robert Plant, and I'm happy as a clam!
Freeway Signs: Speaking of light and color, did you know that the newer freeway signs have "Rainbow Tape" lettering? I noticed this as I drove home yesterday in the early afternoon. Ooh, sparkly!
Speeding: Do police officers really appreciate the possibility of hallucination when you're sick? Good thing I wasn't pulled over yesterday while I was doing 95mph on the freeway, trying to get away from an 80-foot tall Catherine Zeta-Jones who kept throwing cell phones that were as large as a VW bus at me, while screaming "Get More!!!". Could have been worse... could have been Rosie O'Donnell.
Movie Quote: Back in the day, I really enjoyed semi-deep movies like "2001: A Space Odyssey." As astronaut David Bowman nears the monolith, he remarks: "My God, it's full of stars!" So was he referring to this large, black featureless monolith as the literal seed of a sun? I don't think so.
I think he was saying that somehow, scientists were able to take every worthless celebrity in Hollywood (and everywhere else on earth), cram them into a monolith, and put them in orbit around Jupiter. Wow, the miracle of science! If that's what the future holds, then hey, bring it on!
Music: One nasty byproduct of being really sick is that I end up getting a really random and annoying song stuck in my head for the entire day. This time it was the song off of the original Muppet Movie that they sing when the arrive in Hollywood:
"Cause somebody out there loves you, stands up and hollers for more (More!) You've got a home at the magic store!"
I think that does it for me. Back to work.
Tubs: First off, most of us have a bathtub in our home, no? Is your tub deep enough to cover you completely with water? Mine is. Ha! Jealous? Probably not. But as I was soaking yesterday in a piping hot bath in the middle of my delerium, I thought of the next bath the I want to have: The Bain Ultra Tub. Just at a glance, I'm thinking I like the Ayoura 7236. These come with air jets (with a pattern set up specifically on your back), heated backrest, heated headrest, and chromatherapy lights.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm all about light and color. I must have been a moth in a previous life... But to have light and color while bathing in a hot, luxurious bath of bubbles? Oh, Heaven! Throw in a CD player with some George Winston, Rachmaninov or maybe some mid-80's Robert Plant, and I'm happy as a clam!
Freeway Signs: Speaking of light and color, did you know that the newer freeway signs have "Rainbow Tape" lettering? I noticed this as I drove home yesterday in the early afternoon. Ooh, sparkly!
Speeding: Do police officers really appreciate the possibility of hallucination when you're sick? Good thing I wasn't pulled over yesterday while I was doing 95mph on the freeway, trying to get away from an 80-foot tall Catherine Zeta-Jones who kept throwing cell phones that were as large as a VW bus at me, while screaming "Get More!!!". Could have been worse... could have been Rosie O'Donnell.
Movie Quote: Back in the day, I really enjoyed semi-deep movies like "2001: A Space Odyssey." As astronaut David Bowman nears the monolith, he remarks: "My God, it's full of stars!" So was he referring to this large, black featureless monolith as the literal seed of a sun? I don't think so.
I think he was saying that somehow, scientists were able to take every worthless celebrity in Hollywood (and everywhere else on earth), cram them into a monolith, and put them in orbit around Jupiter. Wow, the miracle of science! If that's what the future holds, then hey, bring it on!
Music: One nasty byproduct of being really sick is that I end up getting a really random and annoying song stuck in my head for the entire day. This time it was the song off of the original Muppet Movie that they sing when the arrive in Hollywood:
"Cause somebody out there loves you, stands up and hollers for more (More!) You've got a home at the magic store!"
I think that does it for me. Back to work.
Wednesday, March 1, 2006
sssssssssiiiiiiccccckkkkkk!
This past week has been the week from hell. I've had a project due by 11:00 today, and I was fairly confident that I could have the whole thing finished, no problem.
But then, as always in engineering, new problems would present themselves as the old problems were resolved, and it just loomed into this huge thing that I was racing to complete on time. It probably didn't help much that I spent a fair amount of time blogging and emailing last week (Bad blogger, bad!)
So, this morning I wake up, and surprise of all surprises: I have the stomach flu. I make the 50 mile commute anyway, cranking out as much as I can on the project, all the while having fever pains, chills, and all of the other lovely symptoms you can imagine that accompany this nasty flu.
Now the thing is out the door for review. I originally had a meeting with the engineer from hell today, but that got cancelled. Yay me.
I'm thinking about just calling it a day within the next hour or so, and heading home and going to bed.
SO Sorry. I haven't been visiting all of you this week; I know you've really, really missed me! (They say that hallucinations and delusions of grandeur are common with this type of flu... ooh look, a pink walrus!). I'll be back in a day or two...
If anyone catches the license plate of the dump truck that ran over me, please forward it to the appropriate authorities...
I've updated the blog roll a bit, but I'm not finished. There's a few more to add, and a few more to take off... I've removed some dead links, and there's a few more that are more of the "high content" type sites that are large and impersonal, and yet others that I just don't really relate to anymore. Sooner or later, It'll all be changed. And I need to think of a makeover for the page when I hit the 200th post...
194 posts down... 106 left to go
But then, as always in engineering, new problems would present themselves as the old problems were resolved, and it just loomed into this huge thing that I was racing to complete on time. It probably didn't help much that I spent a fair amount of time blogging and emailing last week (Bad blogger, bad!)
So, this morning I wake up, and surprise of all surprises: I have the stomach flu. I make the 50 mile commute anyway, cranking out as much as I can on the project, all the while having fever pains, chills, and all of the other lovely symptoms you can imagine that accompany this nasty flu.
Now the thing is out the door for review. I originally had a meeting with the engineer from hell today, but that got cancelled. Yay me.
I'm thinking about just calling it a day within the next hour or so, and heading home and going to bed.
SO Sorry. I haven't been visiting all of you this week; I know you've really, really missed me! (They say that hallucinations and delusions of grandeur are common with this type of flu... ooh look, a pink walrus!). I'll be back in a day or two...
If anyone catches the license plate of the dump truck that ran over me, please forward it to the appropriate authorities...
I've updated the blog roll a bit, but I'm not finished. There's a few more to add, and a few more to take off... I've removed some dead links, and there's a few more that are more of the "high content" type sites that are large and impersonal, and yet others that I just don't really relate to anymore. Sooner or later, It'll all be changed. And I need to think of a makeover for the page when I hit the 200th post...
194 posts down... 106 left to go
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